Girlfriend's Psychotic Ex

Location: Minnesota

I've been dating a woman for a while now, and she is absolutely wonderful in every way. The issue here is that she has an abusive, psychotic ex-husband. They live in separate towns but are only about a half hour apart. They also work at the same facility in different departments. Since she left him, she has essentially cut contact from her end, but has not blocked him because they share two kids together whom are now adults in their 20s and feels the need to have the option to receive contact from him if something were to happen to one of their kids - I understand this to a point.

He was physically, sexually, emotionally, and financially abusive in their relationship. He has been sending her love letters over text, pouring his heart out, because she left and he does not have someone to cater to him now. He still views her as his property. I've suggested that she block him for now and have other family members reach out to her if something happened to her kids. She doesn't want to hate her ex, but there have been no improvements made.

This constant one ended communication is not all, though. She does some recreational events with her family that he follows her to. He will just stand there and stare at her in public places. He follows her to her cosmetic appointments. He regularly drives past her residence. This is all an effort to make her uncomfortable and to basically say, "If I can't have you, then you won't live in peace." He has a previous arrest for domestic assault which was dropped, and was convicted of a misdemeanor stalking charge, unrelated to her. When she was beaten, strangulation was regularly involved, which elevates concerns due to statistics. All of this has been going on for several months.

I've pushed for her to get a restraining order of some sort placed, but she does not want to because she does not want to hurt her kids. She has given them everything in her entire life, and she is choosing to put their feelings before protecting herself. She does not want to go out in public with me in her home town because she is concerned that he will find out that she is seeing me. She, and some of her coworkers have fears that he will harm her, or kill her, if he finds out that she has moved on. She knows that I can handle myself if needed, and that I would do my duty to retreat unless we were not able to. Her friends know that she is seeing me and her kids and sister do as well. Her friends also worry that she would be harmed or killed if he found out. If a restraining order was put in place, they all fear that he would retaliate and become more harmful and aggressive.

Can I do anything other than attempt to persuade her to get law enforcement involved or a restraining order? I advised her to seek therapy, which she has been doing, and her therapist has essentially been telling her exactly what I have. I don't know what to do at this point as I'm only a third party, and I can't be there literally all the time to ensure that she is safe. If you have any legal advice, please share.