Is This Neglect? What It The Best Way To Report/record This Incident W/ Minimal Impact To Children?

Location: North Carolina

Yesterday, 12 DEC 25, my separation agreement dictates that the children, 15 and 11, go to their mothers house after school. Apparently, she was out of state (I found this out after the fact when I was dealing with the incident below), flying home that day, so she made arrangements for the 11 year old to go to a friends for a sleepover. The 15 year old went home on the bus and was to wait at home for her mother.

At approximately, 4:18pm, I got a message from my daughter saying her phone was about to die and she had no charger.

She then went on to explain that she was home alone and that there was no power or heat. She asked me to come get her, saying she was really cold.

I made several attempts to contact her mother, but was unsuccessful (still didn’t know she was flying at this time). I then went and got my daughter and brought her to my house. While picking her up, it was obvious that their house was the only one in the neighborhood w/o power.

On the drive home, I asked my daughter if she had a phone number for an adult as an emergency point of contact (EPOC) in the neighborhood. She did not have a number, but said there was a woman that lived nearby she could go to for help if necessary. Again, at no point was I informed by the mother that she was out of town and that I could potentially be an EPOC; I am glad I was around.

I made sure to message their mother, letting her know the situation, and letting her know that I was not attempting to take the child during her time, that I simply wanted to make sure they were safe, and that she was welcome to come pick her up when able.

Shortly after, their mother contacted me and let me know she had been flying, just landed, and would be there in an hour. I recommended that she get a hotel, as it would be below freezing and she had no heat or power. Several hours later she showed up. She informed me that the power was shut off for failure to pay, but claimed it was an issue with auto billing. I do not buy this, as I understand it, you would have to miss two payment periods before receiving a 10-day notice. I assume she hasn’t paid the bill in a couple of months and would have received a notice. This is troubling, because I pay thousands of dollars/month in alimony and child support.

Bottom line: I want to keep a record of this incident but don’t know the best way. I also want this to have minimal impact on the kids if possible.

Sadly, this separation/co-parenting is not friendly, so I feel it is important to have a record of incidents like this. I personally want to continue w/ joint custody, and think it’s best for the kids. She continuously threatens to take me to court for full custody, because she wants to move out of state. It’s stressful.

Also, for the record, I am in the military, she is a civilian/dependent (still married, but legally separated), so Family Advocacy is an option.

Any insights/thoughts are appreciated.