[wa] Wife Asked Me To Move Out, Emptied Our Joint Savings That Held My Tribal Education Money, Now Says I Can't Enter The Home I Pay The Mortgage On. What Are My Rights?

Location: Washington State

Trying to understand what I can and can't do before I make a mistake.

Background:

My wife and I are separating. A few weeks ago she asked me to move out, and I did. Divorce isn't filed yet as far as I know, and I don't have a lawyer. She now says she's working with one.

I'm an enrolled member of a federally recognized tribe. She is not.

We have a young son together. I'm very focused on staying in his life and doing this right.

The money issue:

I receive an education stipend from my tribe (financial assistance for enrolled members who are in college). Earlier this year some of that money — around $2,000 — went into our joint savings account because we agreed to save it there.

She has now withdrawn all of it and told me she "moved the money as recommended" and is "keeping it secure." She won't discuss finances over text and says it'll go through her attorney.

She's also asked me to sign paperwork to remove my name from that account, and to take over the automatic payments on a debt consolidation loan.

The joint account is now showing a negative balance, and she's told me if I want it resolved I need to deposit money into it.

My question: That money started as my tribal education money. Does putting it in a joint account make it fully "hers too," or can I still claim it as separate property since I can trace where it came from? Can she legally empty a joint account like that? And am I on the hook for a negative balance I didn't create?

The house issue:

I'm on the mortgage and I have been the one actually paying it, including the most recent payments.

She now says her lawyer advised her not to let me come into the house, and that we'll do our son's exchanges at a neutral location instead.

Can she legally keep me out of a home I co-own and pay for, without a court order? What's the right way to challenge that?

Other assets:

There's a safe with some silver coins in it. She referred to them as "gold coins that belong to her and our son." That's not accurate — they're silver, they're in the safe, and they aren't theirs.

What I want to know:

Is any of what she's doing actually legal, or is she getting ahead of me because I don't have a lawyer yet?

What should I NOT do right now? (I've had the urge to just go to the house, or to stop paying the mortgage — I have not done either.)

What should I be doing this week to protect myself?

How do people afford a lawyer for this when money is tight? I'm looking into legal aid.

I'm trying to keep everything calm and documented and put our son first. I just feel like I'm getting steamrolled because she lawyered up first. Any advice on my rights and my next moves would mean a lot. Thank you.