Judge Denied My Request To Appear Telephonically For Bifurcated Divorce Hearing (alaska)

Location: Alaska

I’m a pro se litigant in an Alaska (anchorage) in a bifurcated custody/divorce case(bifurcated due to my ex having pending criminal case. I have interim physical custody and sole legal custody of our daughter. My ex has three active charges for Sexual Abuse of a Minor with bail conditions prohibiting contact with our daughter and/minors. She was unfortunately a victim to him.

I asked to appear telephonically because I now live out of state (about 7 months), after leaving Alaska to get more support, escape a violent and controlling situation, and start over. There is a 20+ year age gap, I was a stay-at-home mom, and after I left I was kicked out, lost my car, and was left with no access to marital funds, so I’ve been representing myself and writing my own motions. He has a $500/hr attorney. I’ve kept my address private for safety and privacy reasons, which I now worry may complicate jurisdiction questions or timing of disclosure.

Yesterday, The judge denied my request to appear by phone, only moving the time from 8:30 to 9am. The hearing is December 10th, i filed the request a month ago. I will admit, the only reason I gave was I would not be able to make it to court after driving our 7 year old to school.

I have an infant from a new relationship (this divorce has taken YEARS) and a school-aged child, no childcare, and can’t afford flights to Alaska. I don’t feel safe bringing my daughter to a courtroom when her father is facing sexual abuse charges involving a minor and domestic violence against me. I’m considering filing a motion to reconsider, citing hardship, distance, bail conditions, etc.

My questions for anyone with experience: 1. What would you do next? 2. Should I disclose my out-of-state residency now or wait until the hearing? 3. Can I request video appearance instead if telephone is denied? 4. Should I raise jurisdiction concerns, or would that backfire since I didn’t disclose my move sooner? 5. Any strategy tips for someone pro se against a well-funded opposing counsel?

I’m genuinely trying to protect my child and survive in a system that hasn’t felt protective so far. This judge had been so biased against me. Any advice or similar experiences would help. Thank you for your time.