My Mom Wants Custody Back With Her But I Don’t Want To Go With Her

My mom(F45) and I (F15) haven’t had the best relationship she suffers with addiction. This is the second time my mom has lost custody of me and I had to go live with my grandparents. The first time was because my mom’s ex molested me and the second time was earlier this year she had a pretty big relapse and plus we were fighting a bunch because I got knocked up. So since then I’ve been staying with my grandparents.

I like living with my grandparents and they also told me I can live with them for as long as I want. They help me with my baby and they provide for me too. It’s really peaceful living situation with them because my mom is very unpredictable. She can be so great one day and just the worse the next day. She completed her rehab and parenting classes and our relationship has gotten better. But do I feel like I can depend on her or really trust her? I don’t..so when my grandparents showed me a letter that my mom is trying to switch back the custody where I stay with her now. I honestly cried when I saw the letter and just the thought of living with her again just triggers me and my son loves my grandparents..and that’s another thing I don’t even trust her with my kid.

So it just a lot of factors why I don’t want to live with her and it’s not because I’m some kid that got brainwashed by their new guardian. Because trust me if this was even 5 months ago I would definitely wanted to be back with her, I didn’t want to be with my grandparents initially because of certain lies my mom told me about them, I believed and gave them a hard time in the beginning and I also do love my mom so I felt like I was betraying her by liking my grandparents. So I’m wondering is there a way to like let the judge know I want to stay with my grandparents and my mom not know about it ? I don’t want her upset her or discourage her progress. But I’m also afraid if I’m not vocal about it the judge would make me go back with her regardless. Because I read somewhere that yes I can submit that I don’t want to go back with my mom but a judge can still overrule that anyway.

So I guess I’m just wondering what are my rights here ? It honestly feels weird that custody is still topic for me when I’m mom myself. I want to think I’m not really at risk to be forced back with my mom, my grandma said she will fight for me to stay but I’m still so nervous.

Location: West Virginia