The Song Of Linkedin

Here’s how writing works today.

First, a tiny thing. Then: a follow-up.

And then a sentence with a strangely condescending tone!

The real information is right here though. Not in this sentence. Or this one. Could it be here? Nope! After a few short, vague, and mysterious sentences now you get to read a much longer one that’s supposed to explain a big brain thought but we both know I’m going nowhere with this and you can skip this paragraph too.

This format of writing is what I call...

Wait for it...

(They always ask you to wait in this style as if the next sentence will spin your life off in some wild new direction of wealth and fame and unimaginable hotness the moment you finish reading it.)

Here it is, you know it well:

The Song of LinkedIn.

The song confirms your existing beliefs with words that are brave and controversial because, man, they just don’t get it. They’re so dumb! Their whole business is lagging behind! Whose business? Behind whom? Whom knows! The Song of LinkedIn doesn’t care. All it cares about is making you feel like insights are happening to you when really I’m just being a dick by making you feel like a dick for not being as big a dick as me.

Synergy!

This is all great because who needs to think when you’re reading this post? I’m certainly not as I’m writing it. It’s so much easier if I pick a template off the rack because, look, you’re trapped in this hell as much as I am. We’re all singing the same dumb song on the worst karaoke machine ever made.

I just wish that folks didn’t choose this particular tune because the Song of LinkedIn is one of domination and intimidation, a song of con artists and get rich quick schemes. It’s a song of anxiety and lame ideas sexed up into mild takes. But alas the world is not in desperate need of certainty, or any more short cuts, or, indeed, grifts masquerading as nuggets of truth.

(Instead: we’re in desperate need of better songs.)

Anyway to learn more you can subscribe to my course below for a 25% discount off the first month! And don’t forget to subscribe to my Plurb account, catch me on the Fumpy, crypto my Zillow, or dink me on Ancestry dot com.

#agents #b2b #badbunny #saas #gtm