5 Unique Summer Dating Tips From Expert Jordanne Sculler For Lasting Relationships

Summer is here, and that means it's time to have some fun in the sun. In the dating world, that might mean keeping it casual, but you can still find love when the weather is warm.

If you're a guy looking for a long-term relationship this summer, licensed therapist and relationship expert Jordanne Sculler has five "unconventional and intentional" tips to follow, which she shared with Men's Journal this week.

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Get Rid of Your Checklist

For this tip, Sculler recommends thinking outside of the box about the type of people you pursue and "giving people a chance before disqualifying them based on a list of qualities you think you should want."

"We often rely on mental shortcuts when dating, filtering people based on superficial traits, assumptions, or a rigid idea of our "type." But research suggests that we're not always great predictors of who we'll actually connect with," she says. "When we loosen those preconceived criteria, we create space for genuine chemistry, shared values, and emotional compatibility to emerge. Connection often grows through interaction, not on paper."

Step Outside of Your Typical Dating Routines

Sculler calls this "one of my favorite pieces of dating advice." In addition to rethinking your dating pool, she advocates deviating from your usual routine--changing how long your typical dates are, how many drinks you have etc.

"We tend to operate on autopilot. We bring the same habits, expectations, and behaviors into dating and then wonder why we keep getting the same results," she explains. "When we intentionally change the pattern, we create opportunities for new experiences, new connections, and new insights about ourselves."

Examine the Stories You Tell Yourself

According to Sculler, people enter the dating world "carrying stories about who we are, what we deserve, and how relationships work." Challenging these narratives, particularly if they are negative ones, is critical.

"Our beliefs shape what we notice, expect, and even how we behave in relationships. When we assume a certain outcome, we often unknowingly reinforce the very patterns we're trying to avoid," she says. 

Choose Curiosity Over Chemistry

Sculler asks men to think not just in terms of are they attracted to the person they're on a date with, but also if they can learn from them.

"Many people make snap judgments within minutes. Curiosity slows down our tendency to judge and allows attraction to develop over time," she adds. "Some of the strongest relationships begin with moderate, not instant, chemistry."

Don't Wait for a 'Spark' - Look for Regulation

Everyone is looking for "butterflies," but that's no the be-all, end-all.

"Many people mistake anxiety, unpredictability, or emotional intensity and insecurity for chemistry," Sculler says. "Healthy relationships often feel calm, safe, and consistent rather than emotionally chaotic."

You can find Sculler on Instagram here, or visit her professional website.