Building A Healthy Relationship Through Long Distance Is Hard: Here’s My Love Advice

My boyfriend and I recently celebrated 11 months together, five of which have been spent in long-distance. At our one-year anniversary together, half of our relationship will have been built while living thousands of miles away. Through this journey, I’ve learned the value of lovingly committing to someone while navigating a healthy relationship and building self-independence. This journey I chose to take with my boyfriend is challenging, but absolutely worth it, and not made possible without the effort we both dedicated to one another. It is still a learning process, and here is some relationship advice I learned from my experience. 

I always knew I was going to enroll in an education abroad program. For me, it was important to continue to live my life in the pathway I would have always wanted to, and I never expected I would be doing it with a partner. At this young age, each of us needs to grow as individual people while we also grow together in our relationship. The foundation that keeps us strong is the mutual respect we have for each other’s future goals and the experiences we want to make the most of. The hardest part of studying abroad in Europe is the nine-hour time difference. It’s difficult to call through busy days, so what helps is scheduling times we plan to FaceTime; it’s like a little date. Additionally, consistent communication helps you feel like you’re still involved in each other’s lives while existing at opposite sides of the globe. 

Talking about your needs is important for understanding each other’s emotions through the journey; this way, any miscommunication and conflicts can be avoided. For example, I need support when I am feeling lonely abroad, and he knows that. Sometimes all you need is to feel included, and I like to send pictures of the places I traveled so he can see how beautiful my trips have been. I’ve been collecting significant gifts that create a map of all the places I’ve thought of him throughout my adventures. It will all be a surprise, just like the letter I mailed him containing a drawing of us, a postcard and a paper filled with my kisses in different lip gloss shades. It all sounds very mushy-gushy, cheesy and perhaps cliché, but it helps keep the excitement of our love alive.

Surprises help bring light to hard days: a random phone call, an endearing message, planning dates or creating a playlist are warm acts of affection. Celebrating anniversaries and recognizing little milestones cultivates our love through the months apart. I never miss a good morning or good night text, and we don’t let arguments carry on to the next day; sleeping calmly with any dispute resolved aids a healthy partnership. Some days feel lonely, and there is no cure for the feeling of longing for someone, but it helps to journal about it and reminisce on old memories. Additionally, distractions are great for getting out of your head. So to help with distracting myself during hard times, I like to plan fun activities with my friends in my program! Avoiding the feeling of missing someone is hard, but it is important to remember that the distance is temporary, and the experience I am living is an amazing opportunity. 

All in all, I knew I could do this with my boyfriend because I see our bond lasting; he is the love of my life, and I needed to believe that to get through this distance with him. Although we weren’t physically next to each other, I always feel him close in my heart, and that is easy to remember.

<p>The post Building a Healthy Relationship Through Long Distance is Hard: Here’s my Love Advice first appeared on Her Campus.</p>