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Don’t Fart, Don’t Text, Don’t Eat Ribs: The Wildest Dating Tips Trending Online

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Cardi B recently had folks spiraling after sharing one of her golden dating rules: never let your man find out you’re a human with natural bodily functions. While some fans laughed at her comments, others shook their heads at the advice, calling it totally absurd.

Yet, as hilarious as the “Bodak Yellow” rapper’s no-pooping policy was, it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Between strict texting commandments, rules against ordering “masculine” foods, and tutorials on training men to open doors for you, social media has turned modern romance into a jungle. Here’s a look at some of the wildest dating tips the internet actually expects folks to follow.

No Farting! No Pooping!

@updatescardi

Cardi B breaks down some rules for what women should do during the early stages of talking to a man on Instagram live.???? #cardib#fyp#foryou#viral#explore

♬ original sound – Dabaddiecardib

If you want to follow Cardi B’s dating rules, then you need to make sure you’re starving for the first three months of your relationship. As the “Be Careful” rapper stated on a recent Instagram Live, “Only eat bread and salmon. You only eat bread with salmon, ain’t no taking a s*** around that motherf*****, you understand?”

And if you do find yourself needing to run to the bathroom, “you go to Dunkin’ Donuts and you take a s*** there!”

Related: From Offset to Okoye: Why Cardi B’s Latest Dating Rumors Are Raising Red Flags

The Texting Commandments

Popular dating coach Anwar (@datingcoachanwar), who has been a dating coach for 16 years, has texting commandments for his clients that he ever so kindly shared on TikTok for folks to use in their dating lives, and they go as follows:

1. Do not intiate any text messages until after the third date.

2. Drop that man if you haven’t heard from him in three days.

3. Treat “Good Morning” texts like spam!

Past these first three commandments, Anwar has more texting rules, like do not drop everything to prioritize texting a man, and remember that no one is exclusive in the early stages of dating, so don’t expect daily communication (even if it would be nice).

Treat Your Lady Like a Child

@isaacmalachipeters

I mean what woman doesn’t want to be taken care of ????????‍♂️ Stay focused, stay hopeful ???????? #fyp #maturity #relationshiptips #marriage #masculinity

♬ original sound – Isaac Malachi Peters

TikTok creator @isaacmalachipeters definitely has an interesting method for making women feel comfortable around him: treating the woman you’re dating like a… child?

“If you’re going to take your daughter to a restaurant, you would plan ahead. You’d call, you’d check how long it would take to get you from where you are to where you’re trying to get to,” he said. “You’d factor in, they ain’t got money, cause they’re a child, so you’d have the money for the food, and whatever it is they’re going to buy […] You would do all of those things because they’re a child; they can’t do it for themselves.”

Fair enough, but isn’t that just called being a responsible adult with good preparation skills?

How To Get a Man To Spend Money

For anyone trying to get a man to spend money, dating content creator SheraSeven has the methods down to a science. It’s to make the man feel good about spending money.

“If they feel used, they’re less likely to spend, but if they like spending because you make them feel good about it, they’re likely to spend more. So a lot of this is manipulation,” she admitted. “When you want to make a man spend, this is what you do: You get excited about whatever you want. Your eyes will light up, you will get all animated and excited about what it is that you want and he knows that’s how to impress you.”

It’s also important to note, according to SheraSeven, that this only works if you find a man who likes you way more than you like him, which means anyone following this strategy is going to have to be an amazing actor.

Train Him to Open Doors

@fairytale_feminine2.0

#greenscreenvideo Fun fact..he had to break my bad habit of opening my own door ..bc I was the type to not wait on nobody. He couldnt stand it????

♬ original sound – LOLA YOUNG LIVE

Who says chivalry is dead? If you want your man to be a gentleman, then you need to train him, of course.

TikToker @fairytale_feminine2.0 showed ladies that if you want a man who opens doors for you, then you need to stand in front of the door and not move until he gets the message. If you do this, you’ll have a perfectly trained gentleman.

If You’re a Man, You Better Be a Robot

@kingracso

Stop showing any type of emotions with women especially if you’re in a Long Term Relationship. If you want help with dating/relationships in 2025 DM me ‘King’

♬ original sound – King Racso

If you’re a man trying to keep a woman, then you must never show any emotion, as @kingracso puts it, “Any sign of weakness, any sign of you overexposing your emotions, any sign of you not keeping your emotions in check, trying to get into arguing fits, trying to check her for s*** that you should not even be pressed about and just let her do her. Your power as a man is to be able to walk away from a woman at any moment. That is your power.”

Sure, it’s never fun to be around someone who is constantly complaining, but who wants to be around a man with a heart made out of iron? That’s not even human!

Keep Him on His Toes

More advice from SheraSeven, ladies: You must stay unpredictable. Keep that man on his toes; never let him know your next move! When dating a man, you need to be as covert as an assassin on a mission — it’s the only way to get him to like you.

Make Him Feel Like a King

Now, if you want a man to be addicted to you, then you must give him the “Queen’s Whisper.” Femininity coach Reemus B (@reemusb) states that, “Most men want to feel like a king but their reality often doesn’t reflect this so you whisper it in his ear, making him feel like a king, telling him how great he is and how successful he can be.”

It makes sense to be encouraging to the one you love, but why does it have to be a whisper?

Be as Ambigous as Possible

While the key to getting a man addicted is to be as encouraging as possible, the trick to getting a woman obsessed is apparently to be extremely confusing.

Content creator @hbtruth610 theorizes, “The less information that you give them about you, the more they’re going to try to dig for the information. And I know they’re going to comment, ‘Oh, this isn’t the type of man that I want; I want men who are emotionally available…’ Don’t listen to what they say. We all know what they do; they’ve shown it time and time again. Like, bro. When will you learn? Every aspect of your life should pretty much remain a mystery, unless the woman sees it with her own eyes.”

Please don’t try this tip on anyone mature enough to see through your games.

How to Be a Trophy Wife

@jlbunny

future wifey do this so you can get your ring ????

♬ original sound – BUNNY BOWDEN

If you want to be a trophy wife, according to @jlbunny, posture is what matters most. Flashing her sparkly ring, the content creator said she wants to put all women on game so they’re living the good life and get a high-value man just like her.

“The thing we need to get is posture. Like the girlies are walking around very much slouched, very much letting the gut hang. Babes, sit up, pull your shoulders back, suck that stomach in,” she advised. “It exudes confidence. Just walking with good posture is just going to make it seem like you have that confidence. You need to walk everywhere with great posture and invite that (high value male) energy.”

Don’t Order Masculine Food!

Another tip from SheraSeven: Make sure you’re never ordering masculine food on a date… whatever that is, but do not do it! You need to make sure the food you eat is really dainty and feminine. No steaks smothered in onions and no racks of ribs, word to “White Chicks.”

Talking Stage Rules

@hypebeastaaronn

The moment you do the choosing is the moment you get to losing ! #Dating #Relationship #Alpha

♬ original sound – Hypebeastaaron

Forget about dating — if you’re still in the “talking stage,” then fellas, listen up, because there are apparently some rules you need to follow there, too.

@hypebeastaaronn says that you need to let her reach out to you, never show signs of interest, and make sure you’re talking to other women so you never get heartbroken when one decides to leave you (because let’s face it, if you’re following these tips, they will). And lastly, don’t see her as often as you can because it’ll make her less attracted to you.

Don’t Get Excited Too Fast

Finally, the internet also offers advice for women who fall fast for men: Make sure you’re not showing interest back.

@jennabhee says you need to hold back from being a lover girl, and don’t take the things he says or does at face value. It’s good not to be delusional about a situation, but can’t we at least allow ourselves to be a little excited?

The internet is making dating way more complicated than it needs to be.

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