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I Finally Got On Hinge After Years Of Avoiding Dating Apps & Here’s What Happened In A Month

Using dating apps for the first time

For the longest time, I was convinced dating apps weren’t for me. I always assumed you couldn’t find anything truly genuine on them – that interactions would be surface-level and ultimately a waste of time. In my head, it would be better to meet someone the “authentic” way: in real life. But eventually, the lingering “what if” thoughts got the better of me.

So when I finally caved and tried dating apps for the first time, I told myself it would just be for a short amount of time; no expectations and no emotional investment. And that plan lasted about a month. Somewhere between getting unexpectedly attached, being told someone only wanted something “casual”, and even getting catfished, the whole experience became far messier than I had imagined.

Safe to say, my first experience with dating apps was anything but boring. If you’ve been through the same rollercoaster or you’re just curious what it’s really like, here’s what I learnt after a month on the apps.

Why dating apps were something I thought I’d never pick up

Image credit: Stacy Chew

At the age of 23 this year, I’m not afraid to admit that I’m still figuring out the whole adulting-and-dating thing. Alas, most of my friends are in long-term relationships, and sometimes being single feels a little lonely, which probably contributed to my curiosity about dating apps.

It didn’t help that all my past relationships happened organically – through mutual friends, shared spaces, or chance encounters that almost felt like a scene from a K-drama. I still remember meeting one of my exes at a bus stop near school late at night. We started chatting casually, and somehow that small conversation snowballed into something more.

Everyone but me.

Image credit: ThatOneGuyYearn via Reddit

For me, there’s something raw and authentic about building a connection in real life. So downloading a dating app had always felt a bit unnatural – sometimes, I wonder how many “how are you” I’d have to get through till I’m exhausted.

Still, I couldn’t ignore how much social media has changed the dating scene. Stories of couples who met online are everywhere, and eventually I thought, “YOLO, why not?” – maybe I was missing out.

The new norm of dating, or is it?

But before we get to that, let me walk you through the many doubts and overthinking that happened before I finally downloaded the app.

Can’t find someone IRL? Download a dating app

Nowadays, dating apps have become almost a first resort for meeting someone special if you can’t find them IRL. You either shrugged it off and moved on with life, or you downloaded an app to see what’s out there. Honestly, it feels like everyone around me has tried an app at least once, and I can’t help but wonder if this is what the dating scene looks like now, especially as a Gen Z.

Dating but on x2 speed now

Dating has also started to feel like it’s losing some of its essence because everything moves so fast these days. It’s easy to get attached quickly – texting someone every day online can create emotional connections even before you’ve met in real life, and this intimidated me. I wondered if dating apps would only make this more intense.

Consuming just another form of social media

Screenshot from: App Store

But at times, the idea of meeting someone online doesn’t sound all that scary either. The widespread use of dating apps feels completely normal now, especially compared to just a few years ago. Back then, people would react with, “Wow, you met your partner on a dating app?” These days, no one seems that surprised anymore – using apps is widely accepted, and most people know someone who found a partner through one.

So this definitely eased some of my nerves about downloading an app and getting to know someone online.

Things people around me say about dating apps

Once I’d confronted my own fears about dating apps, there was a whole other layer to navigate: everyone else’s opinions about the online dating scene.

Downloading dating apps out of desperation

One of the most common things people say is that you’re only on dating apps if you’re desperate. There’s still a lingering stigma that people turn to apps because they “can’t meet someone in real life”.

But I came to realise that not everyone has the time or opportunity to naturally bump into potential partners. Life, when you’re an adult, has a way of reducing your social circle without you even noticing, and dating apps are simply another platform – similar to social media – but with clearer intentions. If you’ve ever felt slightly embarrassed about downloading one, trust me, you’re not alone.

It’s embarrassing to be on dating apps

Image credit: ruthlessdamien2 via Reddit

There’s also the idea that being on dating apps is somehow embarrassing. I knew a couple who met through a dating app but told everyone they met in a library instead, complete with a carefully constructed fictional backstory.

However, over time, falling in love with someone you met on a dating app seems to be more normalised. With how dating culture and social media have evolved, meeting someone through an app is not that big of a deal in hindsight.

People use dating apps for hookups

Another major assumption is that people only use dating apps for hookups. This was probably my biggest fear. While it’s true that some people are upfront about wanting something casual, I’ve also met individuals who were genuinely looking for serious relationships, companionship, meaningful conversations, or even just friendship.

As an introvert, I tend to assume the worst, so this genuinely surprised me. That said, the horror stories are not entirely fictional either. Ghosting, mixed signals, and even scammers do exist – and unfortunately, I experienced a bit of that myself.

Dating apps can’t give you authentic & romantic relationships

I shared some similar sentiments with this Redditor.
Screenshot from: Reddit

I also used to believe that meeting someone online made the connection less authentic or romantic. Now, I feel authenticity has very little to do with where you meet and everything to do with what happens afterwards.

It comes down to commitment, clear communication, and boundaries – including being willing to delete the app and stop entertaining other “suitors” if you decide to pursue something seriously. There are countless dating app success stories, and I personally know couples who are now married to partners they met online.

Finally, curiosity got the best of me

Image credit: Pexels

Now, back to where it all started. I downloaded Hinge in late 2025 mainly out of curiosity. My mindset was simple: if it works out, it works out; if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Very calm. Very detached. Or so I thought.

I’d heard – both online and from friends – that Hinge tends to attract people looking for more serious or long-term relationships, unlike some other apps that get a reputation for hookups. So I decided to give it a try to “minimise the Ls taken”.

Experiencing burnout just a month later

Suffice it to say, I felt burnt out after just over a month. Swiping left and right became exhausting, and it started to feel as though I was browsing options rather than seeing people as actual human beings.

That was when I truly understood the paradox of too much choice. When there are endless profiles to scroll through, people can start to feel replaceable, and conversations can begin to feel disposable.

You catch yourself thinking, “if this doesn’t work, I’ll just swipe again,” and that mentality can be surprisingly demoralising. Some conversations also felt so surface-level and lacklustre that I simply stopped replying.

In a way, that’s one of the conveniences of dating apps – the likelihood of running into the person in real life is slim. However, that same convenience can make interactions feel less meaningful and more transactional.

Coming across troll accounts & people who obviously weren’t serious

A profile I came across on Hinge.

Image credit: Stacy Chew

I’ve also stumbled upon users who didn’t take dating apps seriously – some were just trolling, while others went full-on cliche, stuffing their bios with cheesy pick-up lines instead of actually saying something about themselves.

All these took me by surprise and even humoured me a bit – so, not all bad.

Some IRL experiences that lowkey killed me inside

I usually like someone’s profile if I see that we share some common interests – it just gives us something to actually vibe over. I’ll admit, I get a bit nervous at first, but I try to play it cool and just chat like normal.

When a conversation starts to feel real, and there’s a genuine connection, that’s when I start thinking about meeting up in person to see where it goes. It’s a big step from the comfort of the app, and truth be told, it came with its own mix of excitement and terror.

Being told it was basically just a “fling”

Chats were deleted, but I tried recreating them from memory.
Image credit: Stacy Chew

This might have been my dating app canon event.

Remember when I mentioned that people say everyone on dating apps is just looking for hookups? Well, when I finally thought I had genuinely connected with someone – after meeting up a few times, he suddenly told me that perhaps he had been looking for something casual all along.

The difficult part was that it never felt casual when we agreed to delete the app on the very first day we started talking, which, looking back, was slightly wild.

Image credit: Imgflip

Things move incredibly quickly on dating apps. You can go from complete strangers to emotionally invested within weeks, so when he said he wanted something casual, it genuinely crushed me.

I never expected to be on the receiving end of that kind of experience. We had a conversation about it, and I confronted him, but I eventually realised it wasn’t healthy and wasn’t working. So I chose to cut him off. But some part of me didn’t blame him because it had only been weeks since we got to know each other – maybe he simply didn’t know what he wanted.

That was probably the first time I truly learnt about self-respect in the context of dating. Did it deter me? A little. But after some time, I downloaded the app again. “Growth” – something I’d like to tell myself.

Getting catfished

Image credit: Memebase

And just when I thought things couldn’t get more dramatic, I got catfished. I genuinely never thought it would happen to me. On the app, he seemed decent-looking, but looking back, I probably should’ve seen it coming from the angles he took his photos.

When we met in real life, he felt like a completely different person, not just in looks but personality too, and I figured he wasn’t really my type after all, even though nothing was wrong with him.

So I decided to cut the conversation short and told him I wasn’t interested in continuing after the meet-up. It was a humbling experience, to say the least.

However, my dating app experiences weren’t all that bad

Made a few unexpected friends

Image credit: Stacy Chew

Fortunately, I managed to make a few friends – people who were genuinely relaxed and open to friendship. You know that unspoken understanding when both of you can tell it’s purely platonic?

We exchanged social media handles, kept in touch casually, and everything felt easy and natural. That was something that genuinely surprised me.

One of the unexpected upsides of dating apps is how quickly you can form connections and meet people outside your usual social circle. In a way, you can almost “speed-run” getting to know someone.

Learnt the importance of self-worth

I also realised that I need to be firm about what I’m looking for in a person and not settle for less – which means not giving in to attention that doesn’t feel right and staying true to myself. That in itself taught me a lot about self-worth, setting boundaries, and understanding what I truly want, and don’t want, in a connection. Honestly, I have no regrets about giving dating apps a try.

My honest takeaways & online dating tips

If you’re considering dating apps, here’s what I’d say:

Go in with zero expectations for your own mental well-being. Please.
Be open to friendships, not just romance.
Know your worth – don’t entertain mixed signals.
Not every conversation needs to be forced. It’s okay to politely reject or even stop replying if something feels off. Take this with a grain of salt.

If I could turn back time, I would simply tell myself that it’s really not that deep. Things move quickly on dating apps, emotions can escalate fast, and disappointments can sting more than you expect. But most of the time, it’s just part of the process.

Am I still on dating apps? No. For now, I’ve stepped away from them. But I also wouldn’t completely dismiss them. If you’re curious, I’d encourage you to try – just be clear about your boundaries and don’t let it consume your time or emotional energy.

How to stay safe on dating apps

Of course, it’s worth noting that using dating apps isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s equally important to prioritise your safety. After all, you’re potentially meeting someone you’ve never met in real life. Here are some tips on how to safeguard your well-being:

Always meet in a public place for first dates.
Tell a friend where you’re going and who you’re meeting.
Converse on the app before giving out your number.
Never transfer money to someone you’ve met online.
Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.

This might be your sign to try dating apps

Trying dating apps for the first time in 2026 was not what I expected – but not entirely in a bad way either. Some of my misconceptions were challenged, while others were partially confirmed. Would I say it’s for everyone? Probably not. But I also wouldn’t dismiss it the way I once did.

At the end of the day, dating apps are just tools. What really determines the outcome is how you use them, what you’re looking for, and whether you’re willing to put in the emotional effort beyond the screen.

Read our other perspectives:

Cover image adapted from: Stacy Chew, cottonbro studio via Pexels

The post I Finally Got On Hinge After Years Of Avoiding Dating Apps & Here’s What Happened In A Month appeared first on TheSmartLocal - Singapore's Leading Travel and Lifestyle Portal.

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