Man Says One Dating Lesson Could Save You Six Months Of Heartbreak, And People Are Taking Notes

On Sept. 28, TikTok creator Mark (@heresmark) shared three dating lessons he wishes he’d learned much earlier. People are chiming in with their own stories of relationship disasters and hard-won wisdom. In the video, Mark lays out three things he thinks everyone dating a man should know. He frames it all around his own experience, quipping that it’s been “years of extensive field research” and that his own behavior has been the subject of that research. He adds that’s the point!

The video, which received 24,700 likes, kicks off with Mark saying he was due for surgery the following day. He then moves on to dating advice, focusing on emotional investment and boundaries.

Mark’s first lesson was to show interest without chasing someone who won’t return it. He said you have to initiate and let your feelings be known because you can’t expect men to read your mind. But he drew a line between showing interest and constantly trying to make a relationship work. If one person is always arranging dates and wondering when they’ll see the other person again, they have to step back at some point.

He was also strongly against someone vanishing for days and then coming back with a message, immediately regaining full access to the relationship. Mark suggested that could make dating a “loyalty programme.”

Mark said his second lesson could save you six months of your life: Listen to what a person does repeatedly, not what they say. All the declarations of love and promises about the future of the relationship may be very comforting, but you have to look at them in the context of the person’s actual behavior. “So don’t date the words, date the behavior” was his mantra.

The advice hit home with commenters. One wrote, “Actions speak louder than words, and not dating the potential- wish I’d [known] this years ago.” Another said, “Don’t date the idea of them or potential; see them for what they are actually showing you.”

Mark’s last lesson was about the importance of personal standards and boundaries, even when you’re attracted to the person.

He said you shouldn’t accept something you find unacceptable just because the chemistry is good. “Chemistry isn’t necessarily a character reference,” he said, “Potential is not a personality.” Mark also admitted he’d learned some of the lessons through experience and therapy. He concluded that one won’t need to abandon their values for a healthy relationship.

In the comments section, people shared the relationship patterns they’d learned to spot. One person summed it up, “Don’t date the words, date the behaviour.” Another offered, “When they show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Others said it’s best to trust your gut, notice warning signs early and not settle for a relationship that isn’t consistent or committed.

Sign up to receive the Daily Dot’s Internet Insider newsletter for urgent news from the frontline of online.

The post Man Says One Dating Lesson Could Save You Six Months of Heartbreak, and People Are Taking Notes appeared first on The Daily Dot.