The Female Test That Exposes Weak Men

Most men believe attraction is won or lost by saying exactly the right thing.

They obsess over opening lines.

Text messages.

Body language.

Whether they smiled too much.

Whether they waited too long before replying.

Whether they complimented her too early.

But after spending years coaching men, approaching thousands of women myself, and interviewing people from every walk of life, I’ve become convinced that one of the biggest killers of attraction has almost nothing to do with what comes out of your mouth.

It has everything to do with what happens after she says something that makes you uncomfortable.

See, every man has experienced it.

A woman laughs at him.

Questions his confidence.

Teases him.

Makes a cheeky comment.

Says something that, on the surface, almost sounds rude.

And immediately he starts wondering…

“Did she just reject me?”

Maybe.

But maybe not.

During one of my recent interviews, I ended up explaining a concept that men ask me about constantly inside my coaching programme.

Some call them “shit tests.”

Some call them confidence tests.

Some don’t even believe they exist.

Regardless of what label you want to put on them, understanding this one psychological pattern could completely change the way you interpret your interactions with women.

Because once you understand what you’re actually looking at, you’ll stop sabotaging yourself.

In the interview above, I explain exactly what happened during a real conversation I had with two women several years ago.

At one point one of them looked at me and asked,

“How many social media followers have you got?”

I told her I had around a thousand.

Without missing a beat she smiled and said,

“What? That’s rubbish.”

Now, if you only hear those words, it sounds like she’s trying to embarrass me.

But that’s exactly why I want you to watch the video.

Pay attention to her imagined delivery.

Pay attention to the smile.

Pay attention to what I explain afterwards.

The words aren’t the story.

The psychology is.

Most men completely misunderstand what’s happening in moments like these, and because of that they react in exactly the wrong way.

That’s what destroys the attraction.

Not the comment itself.

The reaction.

Are you ready?

Here come the pain!

Most Men Think Every Challenge Is Rejection

One of the biggest mistakes I see men making is assuming every uncomfortable interaction means a woman dislikes them.

She teases him.

He assumes she’s rejecting him.

She questions him.

He thinks he’s failed.

She gives him a little bit of attitude.

He immediately begins trying to convince her that he’s actually a good guy.

The conversation turns into an interview.

Now compare that to what I asked during the interview.

I said something along the lines of,

“Have you ever been out with your friends and some bloke comes over trying to impress everyone, and one of your friends says something like, ‘I don’t date short guys,’ or ‘You’re too old,’ or ‘Why don’t you buy me a drink?’”

Almost every woman has witnessed something like that.

The important thing is that these comments are often delivered with a grin.

They’re playful.

Cheeky.

Almost theatrical.

They’re not necessarily trying to get rid of him.

They’re seeing what kind of man they’ve got standing in front of them.

That’s a completely different interaction.

She’s Interested… But She’s Not Sold

One thing I explained in the conversation is that people misunderstand why these tests happen in the first place.

Imagine you meet Leonardo DiCaprio.

Or Brad Pitt.

Or whoever women collectively decide is irresistible this week.

You’re already sold.

You don’t need any more information.

Likewise, if a homeless bloke who hasn’t showered in two months starts chatting you up, you’re probably not interested either.

Again…

No test.

The interesting place is the middle.

She’s intrigued.

She likes you.

But she isn’t completely convinced yet.

That’s where uncertainty lives.

And uncertainty naturally creates testing.

It’s exactly like a job interview.

If an employer already knows you’re perfect, they don’t interview you.

The interview only exists because they’re gathering information.

Dating works remarkably similarly.

The difference is that instead of asking, “Can you use Microsoft Excel?”, attraction asks questions emotionally.

Can this man handle pressure?

Does he believe what he’s saying?

Or is his confidence only skin deep?

Confidence Isn’t What You Say

This is the bit most dating advice completely misses.

Confidence isn’t saying,

“I’m an alpha.”

Confidence isn’t speaking loudly.

Confidence isn’t acting dominant.

Confidence is emotional stability.

When that woman laughed at my follower count, imagine I’d replied,

“What the hell? Why would you say that? That’s really rude.”

What would that communicate?

It tells her that one sentence completely knocked me off balance.

Now compare that with what actually happened.

I simply laughed.

“Yeah,” I joked.

“Nobody likes me.”

“I’ve basically got no friends.”

Then I carried on talking.

Notice something.

I never defended myself.

I never explained why my follower count didn’t matter.

I never tried proving I was successful.

Because the followers were never the issue.

The issue was whether I could stay relaxed under pressure.

And that’s a lesson that extends far beyond dating.

The Part Almost Everyone Misses

Here’s something I’ve noticed after coaching countless men.

The men who struggle most aren’t usually lacking techniques.

They’re lacking self-belief.

If deep down you already think you’re not good enough, every playful comment confirms your fears.

You’re short?

That hurts.

You’re bald?

That hurts.

You’re older?

That hurts.

You’re broke?

That hurts.

Every joke feels personal because you’re already fighting yourself.

That’s why self-esteem matters so much.

The more secure you become internally, the less external comments have the power to shake you.

It’s like water rolling off a duck’s back.

That’s the exact analogy I used.

Not because you’re pretending not to care.

Because you genuinely don’t.

Before I explain the biggest lesson, watch this next section.

In the video above I also explain something that gets ignored far too often.

Pay attention to how we discuss whether these tests are even conscious.

The woman I’m speaking to openly admits she can’t remember deliberately testing men.

And that’s precisely the point.

These behaviours are often subconscious.

People love imagining dating as some elaborate chess match where everyone has a secret strategy.

Real life isn’t like that.

Human beings respond emotionally long before they analyse logically.

That’s why attraction often appears irrational.

People don’t consciously decide every tiny behaviour.

Much of it simply happens.

The Difference Between A Test And A Rejection

Now here’s where men really get themselves into trouble.

They hear one sentence and immediately assume every woman is testing them.

No.

Sometimes she genuinely isn’t interested.

So how do you tell?

One of the biggest clues is emotion.

During the interview I explain that genuine rejection usually doesn’t come with warmth.

If she’s genuinely offended…

You’ll know.

If she wants you gone…

You’ll know.

There’s very little playfulness.

Very little smiling.

Very little curiosity.

But if she’s smiling while saying something slightly provocative…

That’s completely different.

The words might sound harsh.

The emotion doesn’t.

And emotion always tells the bigger story.

The 6’9” Analogy Explains Everything

One of my favourite examples from the conversation had nothing to do with dating.

I asked the woman to imagine we’re walking down the street.

A man who’s six-foot-nine, built like a brick wall, walks over and slaps her on the backside.

How do I react?

Probably anger.

Or fear.

Now imagine the exact same thing happens.

Only this time the bloke is three feet tall and built like a stick insect.

Same action.

Same intention.

Completely different emotional response.

Why?

Because I don’t perceive him as a genuine threat.

I laugh.

And everyone around me would probably think,

“Kieren’s got this handled.”

That is exactly how confidence looks.

Not forced.

Not performative.

Relaxed.

That’s how you should treat playful tests.

Not because you’re acting.

Because you’re emotionally unaffected.

Stop Looking For The Perfect Comeback

Men constantly ask me,

“So what should I actually say?”

The truth?

Almost anything.

Seriously.

There isn’t one magical sentence.

Sometimes agreeing works.

“Yeah, I’m ancient.”

Sometimes exaggerating works.

“I’m literally your grandad.”

Sometimes playful disagreement works.

“I’m four years old. I’m still wearing nappies.”

The actual words matter far less than the feeling behind them.

What matters is that nothing she said knocked you off centre.

That’s what people respond to.

Authenticity.

Not rehearsed one-liners.

Now’s the perfect time.

In the video above, don’t just listen to what I’m saying.

Watch the rhythm.

Watch the smiles.

Watch the pauses.

Watch how humour completely changes the emotional tone of the conversation.

Those are the things articles can never fully capture.

You can read about confidence.

But seeing someone remain calm, playful and relaxed in real time teaches a completely different lesson.

That’s why I always encourage people to watch the interview after reading.

You’ll notice things you didn’t even realise you were looking for.

Final Thoughts

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned after years of studying attraction is that confidence isn’t about impressing people.

It’s about remaining yourself when somebody tries to shake you.

Sometimes that challenge comes from life.

Sometimes it comes from another man.

Sometimes it comes from a woman you’re attracted to.

The source doesn’t matter.

Your response does.

If one playful comment completely changes your emotional state, then perhaps the work isn’t learning better lines.

Perhaps the work is becoming a man who no longer needs validation from every stranger he meets.

Ironically, those are the men who tend to attract people most easily.

Not because they’re trying harder.

Because they’re trying less.

They’re comfortable.

Grounded.

Playful.

Authentic.

And those qualities can’t be faked for very long.

If you haven’t watched the full interaction yet, do that now.

In the interview above you’ll see far more than a conversation about dating.

You’ll see body language.

Timing.

Humour.

Natural reactions.

And you’ll notice that the biggest lesson has nothing to do with social media followers, short men, old men, or clever comebacks.

The biggest lesson is that attraction often reveals itself in the smallest moments.

Most men never notice them.

Now you will.

Excelsior!

Kieren

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