The Red Flags Of Online Dating That You Must Never Ignore

Looking for love online seems to be the go-to way of meeting people today. However, many people are finding that romance online does more than break their hearts, it breaks their wallets too!

Online dating has been with us for a couple of decades now. The scammers are finding new and inventive ways to separate both women and men from their money. It’s not just older people that are falling for their tricks; many young people are also finding that their new love affair just doesn’t exist.

What is most despicable about these scammers is that they prey on the lonely. Many of their victims send them everything they have in an effort to “rescue” the person or to keep the “romance” going.

Many older men and women are inexperienced when it comes to computers and dating, and some of them are also dealing with the recent death of a life-long partner.

Here are a few ways that you can fall prey to their schemes:

Wrong Numbers

While some of the scams are on social networks like Facebook or Instagram, scammers also try and reach you by phone or text. It usually starts with someone texting you something like “Are you still coming to the gym later.” The victim will let the scammer know that they got the wrong number and the scam begins because the scammer knows two things now:

1. This is a good number.
2. The person they reached actually responded.

Once the initial contact has been made, the scam starts very slowly with something like “I am sorry to have bothered you, I feel so silly” and before you know it, you are chatting to someone you have never met.

Wrong number texts may be a genuine accident. It’s easier not to respond at all, but if you feel you would like to, tell them wrong number and then block the call.

Photographs

Both phone and online scammers usually ask you to send them a photograph “so they can put a face to the name.” Naturally, you will ask for a photo from them. Scammers frequently steal photographs from social media, professional websites and other dating profiles and send them to you. Some now use artificial intelligence to create entirely fictitious people.

A photograph that looks genuine is not proof that the person exists or that the person communicating with you is the individual pictured. Apps like Google Lens and TinEye can help you identify scam photographs. Although, this is not conclusive.

Love Bombing

Love Bombing is the scammer’s way of pulling you into a relationship before you have time to think. By now, you have been speaking for a while, and they know and start to exploit your weaknesses with protestations of love.

Mirroring

This is the practice of giving back to you what you give to them. Your father abandoned you – my father abandoned me. Mirroring gives the illusion that the scammer and the victim have an extraordinary amount in common, like shared trauma.

Video Calls

With the advent of AI and deepfake, scammers can even use fake videocalls to continue the scam. The images and scripts are created by AI and the videocall will only be used once or twice very briefly and then there will be some excuse why they can’t continue to videocall you.

Money

The scammers will eventually ask for money. Sometimes it’s obvious and sometimes not. They will only ask once they know you are completely taken in by them and their situation. In fact, they may even refuse your money the first time a “situation” comes up and pretend that they sorted it out themselves.

Then there will be another emergency, but this time their accounts have been frozen by their bank. They may even show you a fake screenshot of their bank account reflecting millions of frozen dollars and offer you a bonus for the loan. They will seem embarrassed or reluctant to ask you for help, but when they do, they will often ask for Bitcoin, other cryptocurrencies or gift cards because these payment methods can make it extremely difficult to recover the money once it has been sent.

Sometimes, they will be on their way to visit you, but someone snatched their wallet and they are stuck at the airport, and you will help because it’s an emergency and you are a good person.

Investment Scams

Scammers often tell you about their lavish lifestyle, even showing you fake bank accounts and investment accounts including pictures of cars and houses they own. After a while they will tell you how they made their money and offer to help you invest in their schemes. You may even make a little money in the beginning, but you will end up losing everything.

What many victims do not realize is how much work the scammer is willing to put into the romance before requesting anything. The scams could go on for months before anything out of the ordinary happens while they quietly build your confidence and trust.

While most people would not tell a stranger about their lives, the scammers, after a couple of conversations or texts, start with little details about their own. They are usually professionals who are very financially secure. They may tell you that they were a little scared talking to you, but they feel so comfortable that they can tell you anything. You are relieved because they have money and will not be coming after yours, and you begin to let down your guard.

When we hear sad stories, we oftentimes commiserate and add a sad story of our own to bond with the person and make them feel that we know what they are going through.

10 Ways to Stay Safe Online

• Verify their photo using reverse image search from Google or TinEye.
• Be wary of texts from unknown callers.
• Be careful when they want to move the conversation off the site quickly.
• Never let them access your computer, phone, bank or investment account.
• Discuss the relationship with a friend or relative.
• Never give personal information like addresses, banks, passwords etc.
• Never click any links or use QR codes they send you.
• Videocalls can be faked. Ask them to take the phone outside and scan the area.
• Never buy gift cards or crypto.
• Never invest in any scheme no matter how good it sounds.

Looking for love can be an enjoyable experience regardless of your age. Online dating coupled with meeting people organically can be a pathway to meeting that special someone. Just use a lot of caution and a little common sense and don’t be in such a rush to find your soul mate that you ignore the red flags.

More on the topic,

Let’s Chat:

How vulnerable do you feel when it comes to online dating? Which of these red flags have helped you in the past? What do you do to stay safe online?