The Three Attachment Styles

On social media you may have scrolled across a video discussing the attachment styles. As of late, it’s been a thoroughly discussed and popular topic of conversation. The three attachment styles include anxious, avoidant, and secure. 

In short, attachment styles are representative of how one acts while in a romantic relationship. Depending on the emotional connection that was created while you were young with your mother, one’s attachment style may differ. This belief stems from John Bowlby, a well-known psychologist, who wrote the book Attachment Theory. According to Bowlby, the bonding experience one has in their first relationship will affect and shape one’s response in later connections. 

Those who have an anxious attachment style typically find themselves anxious or nervous about their lover. It is said this group needs constant reassurance, may put their needs before their partner, or overreact when a small issue comes about. 

On the other hand, those with an avoidant attachment style tend to flee intimacy when things get deep. They also prefer short-term relationships, might avoid asking for help, and fail to share their emotions healthily. Additionally, this group will put less priority on their relationships. For instance, their career or any personal troubles may be attended to first.

Those who have secure attachment are comfortable in their emotions. This allows them to healthily express and share those thoughts. Overall, this group typically tends to have successful romantic connections. This is in part because of their positive view on lovers and themselves, which allows them to avoid insecurity. 

Each attachment style is vastly different from one, with anxious and avoidant both having their own challenges. However, an attachment style is not permanent. Understanding attachment styles can help individuals develop greater emotional awareness and improve relationship well-being. Additionally, with the work of therapy, one can potentially change their attachment style according to research.

Sources:

https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/attachment-and-adult-relationships

https://montarebehavioralhealth.com/blog/understanding-insecure-attachment-styles

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24559454

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