Why Being ‘too Good’ Backfires On You. #backfires #lovebombing #relationshipadvice #datingadvice

Men, have you ever felt like being a good man actually worked against you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

A lot of men are taught that if they are good enough, attentive enough, and consistent enough, things will work out. But in dating, being “too good” can actually backfire if it is not grounded in self-respect.

When you are constantly trying to please a woman, you set a standard that is very hard to maintain. You train yourself to overextend, overgive, and overperform. At first it may feel like effort, but over time it becomes pressure. You are no longer showing up naturally. You are managing expectations you created.

There are usually two outcomes from this dynamic.

The first is with a healthy woman. Even she can begin to expect more than is sustainable because you set the bar unrealistically high. Eventually, you burn out or start to feel unappreciated.

The second is with a toxic woman who feeds off this dynamic. She is never fully satisfied. The more you give, the more she takes. Your effort does not build attraction. It reinforces a cycle where you are always chasing approval.

In both cases, the problem is not that you are a good man. It is that your “goodness” is tied to overgiving instead of grounded confidence.

This is where therapy becomes extremely important. It helps you understand why you feel the need to overprove yourself and teaches you how to build relationships from a place of stability instead of validation.

???? Follow @christiectherapy for more insights into dating and relationships!

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