Endless Summer

???? Open on Bubbles

I was waiting for a meeting to start when the lady next to me asked how my summer was going. “It’s going… too quickly. I am busy, but I don’t seem to be getting much done. It’s August, and I still haven’t scrubbed, sanded, and repainted the porch. I’m running all the errands, tending to all the chores, using all the hours, with little to show for it.”

She nodded. “Work that has no end. Not a project you accomplish and can admire, just the stuff that just fills up the day and has to be done.” She absolutely nailed it.

That, I says to myself, is a blog post. (I hope to say this to myself at least weekly). My friend’s comment put me in mind of the 1975 Icelandic Women’s Day Off. Women were making on average at the time about 60% of what men earned for the same work, and the ladies were fed up. They organized, they strategized, they publicized, and for one day, 90% of the women did no work inside or outside the home. Women’s Day OFF.

Within a year, the government had legislated equal rights and equal pay. I think the “no work inside the home” element of that strike was crucial. (They could not call it a strike because some women could be fired for striking, but not for a day of leave). Of course, guys have tedious, repetitious tasks in their lives (most notably, and in some cases singularly, taking out the trash). But the bulk of the grind, be it logistical, emotional, parental, or practical, falls to women, at least in my generation.

I believe this gender imbalance has the benefit of making women less dependent on external validation. You scrub the potty because it needs scrubbing and the alternative after a very short time is untenable. Nobody says thanks, nobody admires the sparkling clean potty, but you know you made a difference. I also think having to just turn the crank–on the groceries, the routine pet care, the elder care, the house work–means that if a woman retires from a day job, it’s much less of an adjustment.

We never did invest our entire ego in that old job, and we are inured to finding meaning in contributions that never get an annual review, much less a raise. We appreciate the value in tending to a to-do list that is largely “to do again and again” even if that’s contrary to the whole myth of “work hard and get ahead.” Work hard and rest up for the next round, because that laundry will never do itself. Work hard and enjoy the relationships in your life, because those are the people who appreciate you regardless of the state of your porch paint.

Those are the people who might even help you get that porch project done, in fact.

That said,  I am enough in thrall to visible accomplishments that whole days of quiet maintenance work don’t entirely satisfy me. Most days, I need to write a scene, teach a solid riding lesson, draft a grant proposal, do something that moves toward new ground rather than stewarding a livable status quo. I am well aware though, that new ground needs that solid foundation of a livable status quo, so this is me, making the grocery run and sweeping the kitchen floor.

Where do you get your sense of accomplishment? Who tells you that you did a great job?

PS: I got together the pre-ordering links for A Gentleman of Very Few Words. Print version will come along closer to the publication date.