I Want To Escape
throwaway. i was diagnosed with mdd along with cPTSD and GAD when i was 13 years old. i am now 23, still diagnosed with all three but now additionally diagnosed with BPD and DID. my life has been hard. i am so tired. i dont even try killing myself anymore because it doesnt feel like im worth the effort, plus my body is killing itself. i am a severe fall risk, have wheelchair due to monoparesis and epilepsy and covered with bruises, got some sort of issue going on with my blood flow in my jugular vein i am supposed to get checked but i think im going to cancel it. maybe im supposed to just let my body do its thing. idk what i did to deserve this life. i want to think im not a bad person. i want to think that me as an infant didnt deserve it.i want to think i didnt continue to deserve it throughout my child and teenagehood. i am stuck in a house where i physically cannot leave as in i have no transportation and when i try to escape i am grabbed and dragged back inside leaving me woth bruises
the only escape for me is death
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