To Track Or Not To Track: How Real Couples Feel About Location Sharing

Today's technology has made it so that not only can you find your phone if you lose it, but you can find your partner, too. But does that cross a line? A curious redditor surveyed the community on r/stupidquestions, asking, "Is it normal for partners to have location tracking on each other?"

In the thread, people explore the ethics of digital monitoring, highlighting a significant split between those who view the technology as a practical household tool and those who see it as a 1984-style intrusion.

Tracking for household efficiency

Many people use location data to streamline daily life and avoid unnecessary interruptions. This tool helps manage household duties like dinner preparation and grocery runs without requiring a phone call.

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My wife and I have been "stalking" each other for over a decade now. It's handy. We don't do it because we don't trust each other, we do it to help with groceries, knowing when to start dinner, meeting up, that sort of thing.

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My husband watches for when I'm near one of his favorite fast food places when I've been out running errands for a while and then texts me to grab some on the way home. I find it super cute.

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This is exactly why I use it! I know how long it takes her to get home from work and time dinner prep according to if she has already left work or is working late.

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It’s just handy thing for healthy relationships. I can start dinner when he’s 20 minutes away. He can be sweet and start cleaning when I’m 20 minutes away so I don’t have to clean when I get home, but he doesn’t have to do chores when he wakes up.

Given how useful it is, you could easily see how not having it could be seen as insecure, as long as one partner isn’t a walking red flag. I’m not worried about him questioning my every move and neither is he, that’s definitely a secure relationship.

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We also do it that way and for the same reason. I’m not looking to see if he’s out cheating on me, I’m looking because I’m getting hungry and I want to know how much longer until he gets home (he does not do calls while driving).

Sometimes life is just that boring ????

The argument for privacy

Critics argue that constant monitoring creates an environment of surveillance that erodes a person's right to privacy. They'd prefer that trust is built on a partner's word rather than digital confirmation.

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Not for me personally. I have no reason to ever use it. I trust they're not going to be anywhere contrary to what they've said, and vice versa. People coped with this for the entirety of human history before constant GPS tracking.

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If I want to know where my husband is or how long it will be until he gets home I’ll call him and ask. I would never track him and he would never track me.

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I would feel this way even if I was just going to stay home all day. I don't see why it's necessary for anyone to know exactly where I am always, and I don't like the idea of that. I value my privacy and I value things that are just mine. I wouldn't like it if someone looked inside of an empty notebook that was mine either, not because there's anything inside it's blank, but because of the invasiveness of not being allowed pieces of me that are mine.

If I live with you, and I see you every day, and we talk daily, and I intend to share my future with you and already share huge meaningful chunks of my past with you then why do you also need 24/7 access to my every move? That seems incredibly invasive to me, and over the top.

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Not really. 

If I'm concerned about my partner running late, or otherwise want to know where he is, I text him. 

If there's some specific situation where location tracking is useful, I turn it on via WhatsApp for a set period of hours, after which it automatically turns off. 

24/7 location tracking is creepy, and has a whiff of distrust. 

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We don't share locations. I've always associated it with super needy, insecure partners.

I think some level of privacy is healthy.

Emergency safety nets: When location data saves lives

Location data can provide a critical safety net for those with health concerns and other specific use cases. The technology is a vital emergency resource for high-risk activities.

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This. We live somewhere rural and snowy as well. I actually started using it because my husband started snowmobiling and was sometimes by himself. I didn't want him to crash and be unconscious when he was alone with no way to find him.

It does give some comfort during snow storms when he has to drive home as well.

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My spouse and I do for safety bc we both travel a lot for work.

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It’s very situationally dependent, but it can become a very red flag quickly. I will say it’s great for me, as I would have lost at least two phones in the last few years without someone able to track it, and I am from a very snowy place - having someone know your location on a rough drive home makes me a lot more comfortable in rural out of the way areas. If someone is using the data to blackmail or stalk you it’s weird but it’s person dependent.

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Both my partner and I have each other's location, but for safety and security reasons. He's a field service engineer and drives a lot. This gives me peace of mind when he forgets to update he made it to a customer safely.

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I have it so I can tell if he is on the way home, if he is at a convenient place to ask if he can stop at the store. He has it on me to make sure that I’m not lost or stuck when I ride my trike. My kids worry about me, so they want to make sure they can find me when I walk the dog. (I’m a fall risk, and they are adamant I bring the phone with me. I pleased that they grew up responsible and care about their mother). When any of us goes on a road trip, we watch and keep track, for safety.

None of us use it for nosiness, and everyone cooperates.

These stories demonstrate that for many couples, the "blue dot" is a digital manifestation of care and shared responsibility rather than a tool for control. However, privacy advocates remind us that for many, the right to move unobserved remains a core tenet of autonomy. As tracking becomes more common, the conversation is shifting from whether it is "normal," to how each couple defines their own boundaries. What do you and your partner do?

Want more relationship dilemmas? Read the full discussion in r/stupidquestions, and find more conversations on digital trust and boundaries in r/relationships, r/AskReddit, and r/technology.