Fiancée’s Obsession With Her Bully Ruins Relationships: “ella Has Been Stalking Her”

It’s not always easy to find the love of your life. You might spend years perusing dating apps, suffering through uncomfortable blind dates, and warding off DMs from people who give you the creeps. So when you finally find the one, you’ll probably do anything you can to keep them. Unless, of course, they begin exhibiting major red flags.

This woman was shocked by how drastically her fiancée’s behavior changed after she started going to therapy. And once she decided to seek revenge on a former bully, the woman began to wonder if their entire relationship was doomed. Below, you’ll find the full story that was shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left. 

This woman was thrilled to get engaged to the love of her life

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But when her fiancée decided to get revenge on a middle school bully, their entire relationship began to crumble

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Nearly three quarters of LGBTQ+ students report being bullied in school

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According to the National Center for Education Statistics, nearly one fifth of students report being bullied in school. This number is even higher for middle schoolers, as over a quarter of students between sixth and eighth grade say they’ve experienced bullying. And sadly, it’s even worse for students that identify as LGBTQ+, as the Cyberbullying Research Center reports that 72% of queer youth say they’ve been bullied.

While many parents and teachers believe that bullied students will be fine once they grow up and get away from a toxic school environment, people who have experienced bullying know that isn’t always the case. In fact, Calli Tzani, lecturer in Investigative Psychology at the University of Huddersfield, says that childhood bullying can cause lifelong psychological damage.

In a piece she wrote for The Conversation, Tzani explains that about one fifth of people who grew up being bullied experience mental health problems later in life. These might include anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, thoughts of ending their own life, and more. 

Research has even found that over 40% of girls and over 27% of boys who have been bullied showed signs of PTSD. Unfortunately, that doesn’t simply disappear overnight. Bullying can obliterate a child or teen’s self-esteem, which can carry on into their adult life.

Meanwhile, Stop Bullying reports that kids who are bullied are more likely to complain about health issues such as headaches, stomach aches, and colds. And being bullied can increase the risk that someone will start smoking, have higher stress levels, or develop problems sleeping.

Bullying can cause lifelong psychological damage in victims

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It’s also common for the victims of bullying to have decreased academic achievement. They might have a lower GPA or standardized test scores than their peers and participate less in the classroom. 

At the same time, they’re more likely to skip, or even drop out of, school. After all, it’s hard to focus on what the teacher is saying when you’re terrified that you’re going to be harassed in the hallway as soon as the bell rings. 

The best way to deal with bullying is to try to prevent it from happening in the first place. But once it has occurred, intervention may be necessary to ensure that the impacts are minimal. Even if you don’t manage to address the bullying until adulthood, you can still work on moving past it.

Laura Anderson Kirby, PhD, wrote a piece for Parents detailing what adults can do to heal from their childhood trauma of being bullied. First, she notes that a victim must acknowledge that it happened. Don’t try to dismiss or minimize your experience.

Next, focus on prioritizing your health and recovery. If the bullying spawned other issues for you, such as anxiety or depression, seek treatment as soon as possible. And now that you’re an adult, don’t hesitate to reclaim control of your life. You’re not powerless or helpless, despite whatever story you may have told yourself.

Recognize your value and worth, and start celebrating your accomplishments and strengths. Don’t isolate yourself or try to deal with this issue on your own. Seek professional help if necessary, and don’t shy away from addressing the issue with your loved ones. With persistence and a bit of help, anyone can move on from their past without feeling the need to seek revenge.

Later, the author responded to several readers and shared some more details

Many readers warned the woman to proceed carefully, as her fiancée could become dangerous when she’s broken up with

Meanwhile, some readers shared controversial takes

Later, the author shared a response to the comments and a brief update on her situation