Physical Signs You’re In The Wrong Relationship, According To A Therapist

Have you ever been in a relationship so toxic that it actually affected your physical health? Believe it or not, this is a common occurrence for many people, as the relentless stress can trigger an array of health problems and physical symptoms, from a simple upset stomach to a serious autoimmune disease.

How Toxic Relationships Affect Physical Health

Toxic relationships take a toll on the body—and it’s not just emotional. In fact, many people actually become physically sick when they remain with the wrong partner.

“Because toxic relationships typically involve spending significant time with this person, it creates a chronic stress response in the body,” says Laura Sgro, licensed therapist/holistic anxiety & trauma therapist and founder of Out of the Woods Therapy. “Toxic relationships often involve unpredictability, ‘walking on eggshells,’ and emotional volatility, which keeps your nervous system in a chronic fight-or-flight response.”

Too much stress is never good for the body, and it can cause severe physical complications.

“This repeated pattern can lead to sustained cortisol levels, which negatively impacts blood pressure, immune function, and sleep,” she continues. “Over time, these symptoms can compound into long-term chronic health conditions, like cardiovascular issues, inflammation, or autoimmune diseases.”

What might first appear as minor side effects of stress, like muscle tension, appetite changes, and gut issues, might progress into something more serious and long-term, Sgro points out. Chronic stress wreaks havoc on your body, and if your relationship is a constant source of stress—even if your partner isn’t necessarily a “bad person”—you’re bound to feel physically unwell.

“Folks in toxic relationships often engage in less self-care as well, in part due to emotional and physical exhaustion,” she adds. “Exercise, nutrition, and sleep all become significantly harder when you are in a chronic fight-or-flight response.”

Physical Signs You’re in the Wrong Relationship

Now, before I get into this, I’d like to note that just because you’re experiencing anxiety or stress in your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean it’s toxic or wrong. Sometimes, our own mental health can get triggered through dating experiences, which can cause many of the symptoms listed above. This is why it’s important to use discernment and understand the root of your symptoms, anxiety, and stress.

For example, as someone with relationship-OCD (ROCD), I always have a base level of stress while in a relationship, which is something I work on in therapy. Thankfully, I can tell the difference between my ROCD and genuine incompatibility, disrespect, and toxicity in a relationship. When I was actually with the wrong person, my body quite literally developed an autoimmune disease. I lost 20lbs, was covered in hives every day, and developed food intolerances that were never issues beforehand. In reality, this was a result of me ignoring my body’s pleas to walk away. (In my opinion, self-neglect and autoimmune diseases go hand-in-hand.)

But even if the stress and physical symptoms aren’t about your partner as a person, they still indicate an underlying issue within the relationship. Perhaps it points to your own toxic patterns, like overgiving or downplaying your needs. In which case, you might work on strengthening your own sense of worth or security in relationships. Either way, your body will speak to you directly. Be willing to listen.

“I hear from many clients that they have a hard time differentiating between anxiety and a ‘gut instinct,’ but both are cues from the body that we should pay attention to,” says Sgro.

According to Sgro, some common physical signs to look out for before, during, or immediately after seeing your partner include physical exhaustion, shallow breathing, muscle tension, stomach issues, trouble sleeping, and even feeling the need to “shrink” your body. If you experience any of these symptoms, it’s time to reflect on the safety and security of your relationship and whether it’s actually serving you.

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