The Charity Talking Suicide Prevention At Football Clubs: ‘we’re Scared To Speak About It, But We Need To’

Wayne Rooney is arguing with the referee.

Unhappy at a perceived lack of protection and with his side trailing, he complains as he jogs upfield beyond the official, and the ball is pumped long over his left shoulder. He maintains his run towards the edge of the penalty area, still grumbling as he goes, as it is headed back in his general direction and, without breaking stride, meets it emphatically on the volley. The shot cannons beyond Shay Given and in. All that frustration disappears.

The video is being played to a room of nine apprentice footballers aged 16 and 17 at Leyton Orient, the League One side based in east London. The teenagers are fully locked in, eyes glued to the screen, as Rooney talks about that goal for Manchester United against Newcastle United in 2005.

But this isn’t a session about finishing skills or technique.

It’s a workshop about emotions and wellbeing. That is underlined further when a clip of David Beckham follows.

The former Manchester United midfielder and England captain is shown being sent off for kicking out at Diego Simeone in the 1998 World Cup, before Beckham speaks of the fallout. He received death threats, people telling him he had “let his country and family down”. “I never felt so alone,” he adds. He admits to being anxious about walking down the street or ever playing again, then turns to his redemption — scoring an iconic late free kick against Greece to ensure England qualified for the 2002 World Cup.

His story charts the lowest lows to the highest highs.

The room falls silent. Matthew Smith, surveying the audience, knows they are locked in. If they aren’t focused by this point, they never will be. The reaction is almost exactly the same at Cambridge United, where Thomas Young shows the same clips to a group of scholars at the League Two side.

“The reaction from the public and the fans is key there, and how Beckham has dealt with it,” Young tells his group. “We’re talking about what happened to him, but think about how that would affect you and your football.”

The next slide is a montage of famous faces. “Who are they, and what do they have in common?” Smith asks the room at Orient. The American gymnast Simone Biles is there, as is Stormzy, the three-time Brit Award-winning rapper and co-owner of non-League side Croydon Athletic. So, too, are Prince Harry, Beckham, and the actor and Wrexham co-owner Ryan Reynolds.

“They’re famous, therefore must all be rich and must all be happy, right? Are you happy with that?” he asks to dissenting murmurs in response.

Young does the same at Cambridge, prompting a stronger reaction. Each one of those celebrities, he explains, has experienced some form of emotional distress or mental health problem. 

Smith and Young are there with the If U Care Share Foundation, a charity focused on suicide prevention that Smith founded 15 years ago to promote emotional wellbeing.

The word suicide is used sparingly during their workshops, and only at an age-appropriate level. IUCS aims to help prepare these young people for the emotional challenges they may face in life, not just in football, and in a relatable way.

A 31-year-old from County Durham, Smith set up the charity after his brother, Dan, took his own life in 2005 at the age of 19. He has made it his mission to try to stop anyone experiencing the pain that Dan, and then he and his family, went through.

IUCS began a year later by selling wristbands at clubs’ stadiums with the words ‘if u care share’ embossed on them before becoming a registered charity in 2011. Since then, Smith — a Newcastle United supporter — and his charity have worked with the Premier League, Women’s Super League and EFL, through the educational arm League Football Education (LFE), to deliver workshops from under-10 through to first-team level as part of the LFE life skills programme.

In 2022, Smith undertook an 11-day, 289-mile run from the charity’s offices in Durham to Downing Street to deliver a letter on behalf of 10 prominent mental health groups across the UK, raising awareness on suicide prevention and calling for its inclusion in the Government’s Levelling Up paper.

In August 2024, he ran to every Premier League stadium, more than 800 miles, raising almost £44,000 for the foundation.

Suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45, a shocking statistic to which Smith refers at the end of his workshop.

According to a 2024 report by the mental health charity Mind, one in four people in England will experience a mental health problem each year. One in five children in England and Wales have a mental health problem — only a third were able to access treatment in 2023 — while one in eight 17 to 19-year-olds had an eating difficulty or disorder.

The study also revealed that 7.8 per cent of adults said they felt lonely ‘always or often’ in 2024.

“Football played a huge part in our family’s life,” Smith tells The Athletic. “Dan was a huge Newcastle fan, played football, and taught me everything I know about football. I was at Hartlepool United’s academy when Dan took his own life.

“I can now look at that from the other side and see the impact that bereavement had on my wellbeing, but also how it impacted my view on football, on academy life, and the pressure and challenges that I put on myself. I use that as a tool throughout all our education work inside and outside football.

“We never claim to be experts, but we’re T-shirt-wearers because we have the lived experience.”

Each year on September 10, World Suicide Prevention Day, If U Care Share runs an ‘Inside Out’ campaign. It encourages supporters to wear an item of clothing inside out to spark conversations about mental health and emotional wellbeing that could save lives. It is, Smith says, to “get what’s on the inside, out”.

“My experience didn’t start and finish that day,” he adds. “I have my own mental health problems I deal with. I am open, honest, and talk about real-life experiences because most people in the audience will face challenges. It gets the message across and talks about a subject — suicide — that we’re scared to speak about. But we need to talk about it.”

A Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? ‘fastest finger first’ game starts off the session.

The trainees need to put four things they are most likely to experience in their lives in order. A mental health problem ranks joint highest, with one in four people affected.

Then, they are asked to name emotions and judge whether they are positive or negative, only for Smith to flip the perceived negative feelings on their head and find ways to reframe them — as per the Rooney example.

Smith and Young, in their respective sessions, ask for a volunteer. Up steps 16-year-old Tommy at Orient. Smith chucks him a stress ball and asks his team-mates to voice their appreciation every time he catches it. Suddenly, what has been a subdued room following a training session bursts into life.

Applause rings out, cheers and whoops are abundant. Tommy wheels away in slightly exaggerated celebration, thumps his chest, and bellows: “Who are we? Who are we? We’re Orient!”

But, as the exercise continues, the throws become increasingly impossible to handle. The cheers turn to jeers. A rueful smile appears on Tommy’s face. He says he “almost had them”, and he’s right. But he was still overwhelmed. He’s not so exuberant now.

“It felt good when everyone was cheering me on, but when the balls came at me, I just didn’t know what to do,” Tommy tells The Athletic. “I could see where he was coming from; when you’re getting all these things thrown at you, the way you deal with it and the benefit of support from people around you.”

At Cambridge, 16-year-old Dempsy is an eager participant. It is easy enough to begin with. But as he is revelling in his early success, Young unexpectedly throws ball after ball in his direction without warning. Inevitably, he fails to take them.

This isn’t about whether anyone can catch a ball, though. Each additional ball represents greater stress. The purpose of the exercise is to replicate the highs and lows that can come in football — and life — and the pressure of competing in front of a crowd. It is supposed to be relatable and engage them. It is, and it does. 

“You think no one is going through anything, but then you hear the stories today from the pros and realise that, actually, they might be,” Dempsy says. “It gives you a different perspective and it opened up my mind.

“I knew we were talking about mental health, but it just felt like a conversation. When you talk about how to solve things, it helps a lot more. I have a better understanding of what people might be experiencing.”

The subject is heavy, but discussed carefully. “They’re young lads, so it can be a difficult topic to understand,” says Christian Davies, Orient’s head of academy player care. “They feel that getting these emotions is unusual and no one else has them.

“It can go against what they see as ‘being a man’, and they can find it difficult to express themselves. Hearing it from those who have been there hits them the best. That’s where they want to get to, and they see these people have encountered those sorts of problems.”

“Bringing If U Care Share in helps open up conversations,” says Harsh Joshi, head of education at Cambridge United. “Involving practical activities to get a message across is great. Showing the players and celebrities was massive. It helped the lads have an understanding.

“We’re opening up conversations they don’t usually have on a daily basis, and they can sometimes be reluctant to open up. The first message Tom asked was: ‘How are you?’. That is really important.”

Young returns to a mystery guest picture round and three stories his audience will not have heard.

The trio on the screen are not celebrities, but ‘ordinary’ people who took their own lives. “For whatever reason, these three were at the bottom of their world, and unfortunately, they couldn’t see a path out, or maybe it seemed too tough,” he says.

“We always get asked the question: ‘Why would anyone want to do this?’. We believe nobody ever wants to die, but maybe sometimes they forget the reason why not to.”

He is the last mystery guest.

There is a video detailing his own story: his cousin, aged 18, became addicted to drugs and, ultimately, took his own life.

The room falls entirely silent. Young launches into an eight-minute monologue, but every single player is paying attention. Somehow it doesn’t feel too heavy, too emotional, or at all upsetting. And he still finds a way to relate it to the young men in front of him and their own experiences.

“All it comes down to is talking, having a conversation, and asking for help sometimes,” he says. “Don’t underestimate the power of the conversation, asking for help, or asking someone else how they are.”

Young’s ending is greeted with a deafening round of applause. Smith’s is equally well received. They signpost the Professional Footballers’ Association and the Sporting Chance clinic helplines, as well as their own charity.

Before the youngsters depart, each presenter delivers one last reminder.

“It’s OK not to feel OK, and you will have bad days. It’s what we do about them that matters.”

You can talk to IUCS’ trained volunteers with their free, confidential and 24/7 text service. Text IUCS to 85258

This article originally appeared in The Athletic.

Premier League, Soccer, Championship, Women's Soccer, League One, League Two

2026 The Athletic Media Company