Child's Mother [28f] Wants To Take Our Daughter [6f] To Okinawa For 4 Years Location

Location: CA, FL, Japan

Hey Reddit, I'm [30M] in desperate need of some advice. Let's jump in:

Me and Coparent both lived in CA when we had our daughter. We were never in a relationship. At the beginning of my Daughter's life, Coparent did NOT want me involved at all. But that's my Daughter, my child, so I fought to be involved in her life. We eventually got a court oder that mandated I get summers, school breaks, and 1 weekend a month with my daughter.

Coparent decided to join the Army 3 years ago. She got stationed in FL. Summers and breaks with my daughter now meant I had to fly to FL to pick her up and fly back to CA. It was a huge increase in cost for me, and I didn't get to see her as often as I wanted (monthly weekends gone), but it seemed like a good career plan for Coparent, so I supported it. They've been in FL since daughter was 3.

Coparent is now being stationed to 3 years in Okinawa, Japan. Coparent wants to take daughter with her.

I'm obviously against it. First of all, I want my daughter to have consistent schooling. With this move, she'll finish 1st grade in FL this year, then go to Japan until 4th grade, then go who knows where. She'll transition from elementary to middle school, then partway through middle school, get moved somewhere else. It's too much bouncing around. I want her in a stable environment (which I'm happy to provide).

Secondly, I want my Daughter to have access to her family. Coparent has a terrible relationship with her family and is no-contact with her parents. No cousins to hang out with. No aunts or uncles or grandmas or grandpas. Since Daughter has always been with me for holidays, she has had the ability to be around my family during those times and we're all very close. She hangs out with her grandparents and cousins frequently while in my custody. All of that becomes 10x more difficult if she moves to Japan. My Daughter will essentially be isolated with no one but Coparent. Coparent sees no issue in this and does not believe Daughter needs to be around family anyways + believes that if everyone wants to come see her, they can fly to Japan. It also makes it hard for me to maintain regular phone calls with my daughter. It's already a little tricky with a 4 hr time difference- being on the other side of the world is going to make it almost impossible to stay in regular contact with my daughter. Not just for me, but for my other family members who call her too.

There's more factors in play on why I think she'd be better off staying in the US with me: I'm WFH so I spend a lot more time with her than her mom does on a regular day. I put her in camps and clubs when she's here and would be able to do that during the school year too. I'm remarrying and have 2 stable adults in the household to care for her.

Okay so here's the dilemma: I'm trying to file a motion to modify the custody agreement, but it's all over the place geographically.

The original agreement was filed in CA, and since we haven't changed it, jurisdiction is still technically in CA. I've been told I have to file to have it transferred to FL, and then once it's transferred to FL, I can file to have it modified. But they leave at the end of the summer and I have no clue how long all of this takes. I've been calling around for 2 weeks and everyone is quoting $7k-15k to take on my case. Plus I've spoken to countless legal aids in both CA and FL and keep getting conflicting info on which state I need an attorney in. They're also leaving FL at the end of summer, so even if I modify everything there, I don't know how it will be enforced in Japan.

I'm going to do whatever I can to keep my daughter in the US. I truly believe that it's what's best for her. I've never wanted to take her away from her mother but bouncing around the world like this at a young age can't be good for her social development. Being isolated and only hanging out with her mother and temporary friends she'll have to leave behind can't be good either.

What I need to know is- do I have a strong enough case to file this myself? $7k-15k is completely out of budget for me. But I want my Daughter to be able to grow up in a stable place, going to one school, seeing her family, able to attend extracurriculars, with someone at home who will be here consistently to always take care of her. I really want to do what's in the best interest of my daughter (and I believe that's staying here in the US with me), but I can't afford a lawyer. I have to fight it myself, but I need to have a strong case. I'm concerned that if I try to fight it, and lose, Coparent will take Daughter to Japan AND increase child support AND I'll se her less and talk on the phone less AND I'll have soured the relationship with Coparent and she'll make it even more difficult to remain in my Daughter's life.

TL;DR: Coparent is in the Army and wants to take 6 year old daughter to Japan. If I fight this, what are the chances I win? What will make for a stronger case? What would hurt my case?