Coparent Wants To Take Me To Court Because He Doesn’t Want To Drive My Daughter To School

Location: Florida

Sorry there is a lot of context.

The father of my daughter has always been difficult to coparent with. He has always been in a pretty bad place in life. I got pregnant 4 months into dating him (as a rebound) and we broke up before my daughter was 2. She is now 13. He was in and out of her life until she was 6, then totally out until 9 when he started dating a girl with 4 kids and decided to file for custody of my daughter.

Our current custody agreement is he has her every other weekend and one weekday during the school year. This has been the case since she was in 5th grade. She went to a private school in 5th grade, so she had to be picked up and dropped off every day. For middle school she is in a charter school that provides busses to the entire county. There is a bus stop about 7 minutes driving from my house and maybe 2 minutes driving from his. Next year she will be in high school. My husband and I bought a house this year next to the #3 high school in the district. The 1st and 2nd are 30-45 minutes out east, so it is the best high school in town, just not the entire school district. My daughter is interested in being in the medical field and they have classes for that there.

Now my daughter’s father is complaining about how he won’t have a bus to get her to and from school. He is saying since I made the “unilateral decision” to buy a house (a much nicer, bigger house in a very safe neighborhood, which wasn’t the case with the house I was renting before) now I am required to provide transportation FOR him. Keep in mind, the place I lived before was zoned to the WORST school in the district. I did the math, both schools drive times would be exactly 17 minutes either way. The school at my new house is actually a little closer to his house.

Because he doesn’t want to drive her the 17 minutes 8 times a month (from on Tuesday, to on Wednesday and up every other Friday) he’s suggesting that my disabled mother pick her up from his house before 6am to drive her to school, then pick her up at 2:15 to bring her back to his house. My mom has already been driving to my house daily to get her ready for school and take her to the bus stop for years. My mom has giving her more to and from transportation than anymore, and she’s not going to be his personal chauffeur.

Also, he doesn’t actually have a job…he drives Uber, but he says “what if I get a job?” So I gave him several options. His mom is also able to drive if needed, she just doesn’t love driving since she is sick, but so is my mom. He recently went to a hearing for custody of his 2 year old twins, which will likely end in 50/50. The babysitter of the twins should be able to drive my daughter if he’s at work. Before and after care provided by the school or another program. I also suggested that, if he has to go in too early or if he gets off too late, that she could just come to my house before or after and he could come get her when he’s off work. That wasn’t good enough. I offered to bring her to his house when I got home around 4pm if he wasn’t off work by then. Not good enough, it has to be immediately from school to his house no matter what, even if he’s not home. (He lives with mommy) I even offered to, if need be, switch his regular Tuesday to a different weekday when he is off. I mean, I can’t think of any more compromises. I’ve already offered so much more above and beyond what I should have offered. If this did go to mediation, I would not be offering any help on my end, apart from the use of her going to my house after school until her gets off work. My daughter will have a car when she’s 16, and in the parenting plan it also states that she is able to live with the parent of her choice at any time, so at that point none of this will even matter. It’s more likely she would want to stay here most, if not all of the time. Her birthday is in January, so this will only be a problem for a year and a half, minus the summer.

This has been an argument he’s been going on and on about since I bought this house at the beginning of the year. He’s ramped up in the past week since his court hearing for custody of his twins. Now he’s saying that if I don’t figure out how to provide him with transportation, he is going to file for 50/50 custody and he will ask the court that I pay child support. (Right now no one pays anyone child support. I had to sign a waiver that said I was refusing to ask for it because I KNEW it would cause fights, but silly me, there are still fights anyway! I also wanted him to be able to better provide for his twins who were not born yet at the time, but silly me again, he hasn’t seen or provided for them in 10 months)

I told him I thought mediation was a good idea, but it wouldn’t make sense until after he found a job, because right now this is all theoretical. “What if I have a job” doesn’t really make sense to a mediator.

So, I’m wondering, should I just eat the money and ask for mediation myself before he tried to file to change the custody agreement? I’m afraid that if I leave it alone, he’s going to file, and I’m afraid that if I ask for mediation I’ll be wasting time and money since it’s a theoretical argument. Any advice would really help me decide what to do.

TL/DR: father has part time custody and wants to file for 50/50 custody because he won’t have bus transportation to her high school next year. (17 minutes, 8 days a month) because he may theoretically have a job one day. Should I ask for mediation myself before he files? Or is this a big waste of time and money?