Coparenting Safety Concerns

Location: NH,USA.

I am mom. Children are two 5-year-olds. Current parenting plan finalized in January 2022 states that 2-hour weekly visitation with father must take place at the county visitation center which is equipped with metal detectors and trained security. Father was also to submit a clean drug and alcohol screen, and attend a doctors appointment to learn about their needs because they are medically complex and it would be inappropriate for them to be without someone who is trained. For context, they receive full time private duty nursing at home and at school. The agency will not allow the nurses to work during visitation, which was my initial hope. There is DV history.

Father never submitted a clean test, or attempted to schedule with the center. The center has since closed due to a lack of funding.

In May of 2022, father attended a doctors appointment. One child, 16 months old, was left alone on an exam table and fell. She had skull fractures. Father says that there were too many people in the room, he was “confused”, and should have been watching.

Until recently, I had not heard anything from him since February 2024. Looking through his past emails, he acts like he is afraid to speak to me. This will likely be his defense for disappearing. Saying things like “please don’t call the cops”, however the only time I called the police regarding those emails was when he threatened suicide and told me it was my fault. He would also tell me that he saw me driving around, that he knew where my other children were, that he knew what I drove, which was scary. When he asked about the children, I always answered and kept emotion out of it.

He recently filed a change. He is asking for 2-hours monthly visit with his mother or wife as supervisor. This isn’t appropriate because none of these people know the children, and none of them are trained to care for them. He is also not sober, and has been completely absent for years. With the visitation center closed, what can I ask for? How do I keep them safe?