I Told Alcoholic Husband I Want A Divorce And He Wants Everything

Location: Oregon

Husband and I have been married for almost five years. His alcoholism has skyrocketed in the past two years. He is verbally abusive, narcissistic, and frankly horrible to be around when he’s drinking. We have two young kids that I do not want to grow up in this environment. I told him I want a divorce and he is livid. I have been a SAHM for the past three years and he is a high earner (however, is on administrative leave from work due to his alcoholism and almost certainly getting fired soon).

He told me this divorce is going to be a battle and he will cripple me financially. He already has a history of canceling my credit card to force me to come home (I was staying with my mom). He told me he’ll go along with divorce as long as I meet his terms - he gets everything. He wants the house and my car (the car loan is in his name and the house is in both our names). I put down a sizable down payment for both the car and house with my personal savings. He doesn’t want anything to do with the kids (he says he’ll just go make some replacements with a new woman).

I’m guessing what he is asking for is unrealistic?? I know that Oregon is a 50/50 state but still the threats are scary. I don’t want anything radical. I want half the proceeds from the house, my car (I’ll take over the payments), and a fair amount of child support. I don’t want alimony or his retirement/stocks.

I do have plenty of proof of the alcoholism and verbal abuse: threatening text messages, videos of him drunk talking about how it’s okay to leave a baby home alone to buy more alcohol, medical records when he was hospitalized (detox), his termination HR letter, multiple witness, etc.