Illinois: Would Marrying My Terminally Ill Partner Be Financially/legal Beneficial Or Could It Hurt Us? We Have 3 Children Together

Location: Illinois

My partner and I have been together/on and off for almost 20 years and have three children together. He has stage 4 terminal cancer, and with everything going on, we’re trying to get our affairs in order and figure out whether legally getting married would actually protect our family or potentially create more financial problems.

We live together in Illinois and rent our home. We do not own any real estate together. Our only vehicle is solely in my name, and we have separate bank accounts.

He currently receives SSDI, including benefits for our children. I’m currently not working due to my own health issues. The kids and I receive Illinois Medicaid, and our household also receives SNAP/EBT. One of my biggest concerns is whether getting married could cause us to lose or significantly reduce those benefits, especially the kids’ medical coverage and our food assistance.

Another major concern is medical debt. He has accumulated medical bills while undergoing cancer treatment, including treatment in Missouri. If we marry now, could I become responsible for medical debt he already has? What about medical bills incurred after we're married? If he passes away, could creditors pursue me personally, my vehicle, or money held solely in my name?

On the other hand, I'm wondering what protections I may be giving up by not marrying him, particularly Social Security survivor benefits, rights as his legal spouse, medical decision-making, inheritance/probate rights, and anything else that could affect me or our children after his death.

We aren't considering marriage as a way to hide assets or avoid legitimate debts. We're simply facing the reality of a terminal diagnosis and trying to make the smartest decision for our family and three children while we still have the opportunity to plan.

Would getting legally married likely be beneficial in our situation, or could remaining unmarried and putting things like wills, powers of attorney, beneficiary designations, etc. in place offer better protection?

Also, what type of Illinois attorney should we speak with about all of this? Estate planning? Elder law? Family law? Ideally, we need someone who understands Medicaid/SNAP, Social Security survivor benefits, medical debt and estate planning.

I know Reddit isn't a substitute for actual legal advice. I'm mainly hoping someone can point us in the right direction and tell me what questions I should be asking before we make such a huge decision. Thank you. ❤️