Is "elder Abuse" Relevant Within A Married Couple?

Location: Kentucky.

My father and stepmother have been married for 40+ years.

My dad has recently been asking me to dig in to his fiinancials. I have no legal right to do so other than his verbal request.

Both him and her are disabled (various legitimate reasons). He asked me to look into things because their monthly income far exceeds their current needs, but they're living "one check away from doom" so to speek.

He's been asking her for a full accounting of their finances for three years: what do we owe, to who, how much and what's the interest rate. Because he wants to make a plan to pay it all off.

Her answer has been (*for three years*) that she doesn't have time to look it up, doesn't know where the info is, can't find it, with a healthy dash of *how dare you question me* thrown into the mix. I've been told repeatedly that my involvement in this search will throw my relationship with my stepmother into jeopardy. I don't like her, never did, I don't think she ever felt any different. But I've been quiet about my minimal snooping.

Free credit monitoring services reveal that my dad has $55K in credit card debt. Either combined or sole responsibility, the service doesn't differentiate. He claims (his disability *isn't* mental) that he has one credit card (Costco) with a $5K limit.

She won't show him any of the CC debt or even admit that it exists. "Too busy" for the last three years. He's seen nothing, not a single bill.

As much as I'd love to throw her under the bus, I don't want to throw a hand grenade into their relationship unless he and I are relatively protected from the blast.

I've been working at their house this week to help organize and clean. I found a box of letters (mostly credit card bills) that were meant to be shredded. I told him that I'd like to take them home and dig in to see what I can see. His answer was "don't get caught." Because, essential, that'd be dangerous for everyone involved.

There is no financial incentive in this for me, so far as I know: the high income dies with his terminal disability.

How much right do I have to dig through this box?

How can I protect him from being swindled, if I find proof?