Munchausen’s And Murder? How Do I Get Someone To Investigate My Dad’s Death?

Location: California

A year ago, my dad died from complications of cancer metastasized to almost every major organ. But I suspect elder abuse committed by his wife. As a mostly bedridden housebound disabled person, I couldn’t protect him. According to her family in Canada, she’s a former palliative care nurse who was forced to surrender her license ahead of a criminal investigation, has a history of abusing those under her care; and a diagnosis of Munchhausen’s.

According to a friend of his and her family, five months before his death, my 80 year old father left the hospital against medical advice (something I’ve never known him to do) while delirious. During his time being sick at home, her family continually asked her whether she was giving him his antibiotics properly and insisting that she take him back to the hospital. Their concerns were met with vague answers and excuses.

If she cared whether he lived or died, why didn’t she take him back to the hospital when she saw he wasn’t improving? Instead, with all of her clinical knowledge, she just she watched him get sicker and sicker. Extreme headaches, bouts of delirium, an infection that was killing him. At what point did did she begin to suspect lung cancer? And if she didn’t suspect cancer, as a former palliative nurse, why didn’t she? If she was worried about the fact that he was getting so ill, why didn’t she call family?

By the time of his last hospital admission, a doctor told my dad’s friend that the infection would kill him within five days.

During his final two weeks of life, his wife lied to me constantly about his condition and repeatedly granted and took back permission for medical staff to speak to me.

She isolated him. No one unconnected to her was told he was sick. To this day, I don’t know whether my dad’s best friend knows that he died. I asked her so often to please, please, go through his phone, or to ask him when he had a lucid moment who he wanted to talk to, please, give me the numbers and I will call them. Though she said she would do so, she never did. The entire time she seemed supremely unconcerned.

I thought he was going to get better until four days before he died. When I spoke to him I tried to keep his spirits up, not knowing that each conversation could be the last. She kept talking as if they were just waiting for biopsy results to decide his treatment. But he never had a chance.

I think there’s something seriously wrong regarding the death of my dad. He spent 20 years in the military serving his country. He was a Vietnam vet who participated in operations “Eagle Pull” and “Baby Lift”. And he died in the VA Medical Center under questionable circumstances. There is something obscene about that.

And I seem to be the only one who cares. What do I do? So I haven’t been able to get the authorities to do a proper investigation. As I said, I’m disabled so…broke, and have limited energy. How do I get his death investigated by the authorities? It’s true he was cremated. But most of the evidence of what happened to him is in his medical records.

TL;DR: I suspect my dad’s Canadian widow, who has a surrendered nursing license, a history of medically abusing those under her care, and a diagnosis of Munchausen’s of killing my dad. How do I get someone to take it seriously?