My Boyfriend Is Being Held In A Hospital Against His Will

Location: Delaware, USA

I have no idea what to do and I’m in a different state than he is right now (he is the one in Delaware) which makes things even more complicated. I am freaking out and need advice on what to do next. I don’t even know where to start so I guess I can go chronologically so everyone can understand how we got to this point.

Tuesday Night/Wednesday morning (3am): My boyfriend can’t sleep because his neck and shoulder are in excruciating pain (plus he had a headache and was vomiting) and goes to the hospital to see what is happening and get help. This pain is something he has been dealing with for a while but it got worse. For background, he also got a liver transplant a few years ago.

Wednesday: - They give him a ton of heavy painkillers (Dilauded and Oxy specifically) and do blood tests, an MRI, and some other testing to rule out a stroke. He did not have a stroke. The MRI reveals he has something called cervical spinal stenosis, but it is mild and not something they can treat in the hospital. -The blood tests are normal but they keep him over night because they are worried about his liver due to the vomiting (even though, like I said, at this point everything was normal). Bc of the meds he takes sometimes he vomits.

Thursday: -That morning they do more blood work. It is showing that there are a couple of abnormalities in regards to his liver that they want to monitor. He had scans and tests done last Monday and everything was normal and healthy, plus he was normal and heathy on Tuesday and Wednesday. -His dad drives up to see him and ask the doctors what exactly is going on (his parents and I live in the same state, he is in a different state for school). -Doctors tell his dad all of the brain and spine scans are NORMAL- the reason they are keeping him there is to do more testing on his liver. -His dad tries to ask the doctors if maybe the reason his liver is acting up is because they put him on such heavy doses of pain killers in a very short amount of time. They say this is not a possibility, but they take him off the painkillers. -Boyfriend’s dad leaves and drives back to our state because he didn’t think there was any other way he could help at that point. -On his way home, his dad gets a call that they are going to try to transfer him to a different hospital that has a liver specialist to take better care of the specific situation. One hospital probably cannot take him because he is on state medicaid and this hospital does not take this other state’s medicaid except under extreme circumstances. The other hospital can take him, but they have not transferred him there. -My boyfriend tells the doctors he is currently in grad school and if he misses 5 classes he will be academically dismissed from school. They say they will try to get him out as soon as they can. -After this there were no more updates from the hospital or from BF.

Today: -This morning my BF tells parents and me he is going to ask to discharge against medical advice. He understands the risks (per his liver) but does not want to be stuck there any longer. He says he will set up appointments with his liver doctor at a different hospital to get checked out. -Hospital says he is not mentally competent enough to discharge himself. They say he needs a psych evaluation. -Mind you, I have been talking with him on the phone throughout this and he has seemed mentally competent and completely normal. -The reason for the apparent lack of mental competency is because the spikes in his liver are now causing “encephalopathy” despite his MRI being normal (according to the doctor yesterday). They do not provide testing or proof that this is the case so I’m not 100% sure where this is coming from all of a sudden. -His dad goes back up to try and help get him discharged. -The hospital takes his laptop, bookbag, clothes (I think everything he owns except his phone but they might have that too. I’m not sure) away from him -His dad gets there and tries to film BF to document that he was mentally competent. He also tries to document other things happening to BF to make sure there is evidence if they need to sue. Security gets involved, asks him to stop filming. He does. They ban him from the hospital and escort him out. -Security handcuffs BF to his bed (his dad watched it happen). BF was not resisting, yelling, etc. He was complying and being calm. There was 0 reason to handcuff him. -There are no updates on his condition or other medical updates after this.

Now his parents and I are trying to figure out what we can do to help him. They have tried contacting lawyers in the state he is in but they’ve only been getting answering machines. We are desperate. I just want to be able to talk to him and figure out how to help him. I am thinking about driving up to see him tomorrow but I’m worried the hospital won’t let me see him.

Please someone help. What, if anything, can we do?

EDIT: Thank you to everyone who has replied trying to help. I want to clarify (after talking to his parents) that he has not been formally diagnosed with Hepatic Encephalopathy. It is something they are concerned about but no formal diagnosis has been made yet and I’m not 100% sure what testing has been done to find out if this is indeed what is going on. He has been dealing with a liver condition for his entire life, so his parents have been through things like this before. The hospital loaded him up with Dilaudid and Oxycodone when he first got there and after that is when his liver started being weird. His blood tests and ultrasounds were completely normal and healthy as recently as this past Monday. They have not answered as to why restraints were used, but his dad suspects they have also sedated him. He and his dad really want him to be off of all of these drugs because they believe it is affecting his liver, so this is not ideal. I don’t want him to die (obviously!) but I do want to know more about why they believe he is in imminent danger and why they haven’t transferred him to the hospital with a liver specialty unit (this other place is the hospital he has been going to for his regular liver check-ups btw and his doctor there is great).

I’m hoping he will be awake and able to consent to the doctors giving me information when I show up tomorrow. I have his room number and apparently this hospital does not require visitors to check in (which is odd to me) so I just plan on showing up. I may call ahead to make sure they don’t see me as hostile just barging in. I really just want to be there for him and make sure he is doing okay and also maybe get some answers from his care team if possible.

His parents have called the patient relations department at the hospital to try and get someone there who can advocate for him while we are not there with him. We’re exploring a few other avenues as well.

Thank you to everyone again.

EDIT 2: I realize there’s already a lot here. I’m frustrated and tired and just want him to be safe but there is so much to this story that it’s getting exhausting and some people are not being very kind or understanding.

As I have done more research, a few things have come up. Them suspecting encephalopathy is coning from the psych evaluation that was done earlier, but no one has been able to see the paperwork from the evaluation. My bf requested to see it and they have not provided it. It has been over 12 hours. I understand that bloodwork and an EEG are not diagnostic factors but additional support to a diagnosis. However, they have not made any sort of official diagnosis.

He knows exactly why is being kept there and is able to tell the doctors what they have told him, what the risks are for him leaving, what the consequences could be, and still make the choice to want to leave. He has explained to his parents what the doctors have told him. He has told the doctors he doesn’t want to be given more opiates and they gave him more oxycodone today despite him asking them not to because it is affecting his liver. He is mentally competent. I was just on the phone with him and there are no signs from that conversation that he is mentally out of it. I know I don’t have the full picture but I’m hoping to get a fuller picture when I go to see him. He has also asked them to give him his psych evaluation paperwork and they have not given it to him (it has been 12 hours since the psych evaluation concluded) which as I have been told by lawyers in Delaware is against Delaware law.

His mother called and asked hospital staff if in their opinion he was being violent towards himself or others and they said no. She asked why he was being restrained. They said they don’t know. He was compliant with the 4 security guards who handcuffed him. No violence, yelling, threats resistance. He smiled and made a joke to his dad as they were doing it.

I won’t have the full picture until I see him, but I’m hoping to have answers soon. I’m also hoping they will be able to give him a plan for what the next steps are because they have basically told him nothing since Thursday during the day.