My Girlfriend Is Facing Criminal Charges For Taking Her Mom’s Car, Even Though She’s Been Allowed To Use It Without Asking For Years. What Can We Actually Do? (ny)

Location: New York
I’m hoping someone familiar with New York criminal law can give me some advice here, because this situation has gotten a lot more serious than either of us expected.
My girlfriend is 20. Around mid-October, she got into an argument with her mother and ended up leaving in her mom’s car without asking.
Now, I understand that taking someone’s car without permission can be a crime. What makes this situation complicated is that my girlfriend has regularly used this same car without asking for years. Her mother has always been fine with it. This wasn’t some unusual occurrence where she suddenly decided to take a car she’d never been allowed to drive.
According to my girlfriend, her mother called the police and reported the vehicle stolen, then contacted her afterward to tell her she wasn’t allowed to have it.
When the police contacted my girlfriend, she told them she would return the car. They later came to her house and arrested her anyway. She ended up spending the night in custody before being released.
Something else that I found particularly strange was her mother’s statement to the police. She said she thought I might be in the car and driving it, despite me having absolutely nothing to do with the situation. She also specifically requested that I be arrested instead of her daughter.
I’m aware that her mother doesn’t get to decide who the police arrest. I’m only bringing this up because it’s part of what happened, and I have a hard time understanding why she wanted someone who wasn’t even involved to be arrested.
My girlfriend has now been charged with Unauthorized Use of a Vehicle in the Third Degree under NY Penal Law §165.05, a Class A misdemeanor.
At her November 10 court appearance, a proposed plea bargain involving one year of probation was brought up. I’m still trying to understand the exact terms and what, if anything, has formally been agreed to.
This is where I really need advice.
I understand that previously allowing someone to borrow a vehicle doesn’t automatically mean they have permission every single time. But surely the history of her being allowed to take the car without asking is relevant to whether she reasonably believed she was permitted to use it.
She’s also been staying at my house since the incident and has distanced herself from her mother. She’s trying to move forward with her life and has plans to join the military, which makes the possibility of a criminal record particularly important.
She does have an assigned public defender, but we’re having trouble getting clear information about her options. He told her to appear at 9:30 a.m. and wasn’t there when she arrived. I don’t want to jump to conclusions about him, but I do want to make sure she’s getting proper representation before she agrees to anything.
What I’m specifically hoping to understand is:
Does her history of regularly using the car with her mother’s knowledge and approval have any meaningful value as a defense? Particularly if she genuinely believed she was still allowed to use it?
Is there a realistic possibility of getting the charge dismissed or resolving it without a criminal conviction? Should her attorney be exploring something like an adjournment in contemplation of dismissal (ACD) rather than accepting probation?
Can her mother clarify to the prosecutor that she had previously allowed this arrangement? Would that history be relevant even if her mother doesn’t want to withdraw the complaint?
What evidence should we be trying to preserve or have her attorney request? For example, messages establishing that she routinely used the vehicle, the original police report, body-camera footage, or anything else that might help establish the circumstances.
If we’re concerned about how her public defender is handling the case, what options does she have to make sure her defense is being properly considered before the next court appearance?
I’m not asking anyone to guarantee that the charges will disappear, and I understand that there’s a legal difference between having permission in the past and having permission at the time of an incident.
I’m just trying to figure out whether the circumstances surrounding this case actually matter legally, and what steps she should be taking now rather than simply accepting a plea because she doesn’t know what else to do.
I would genuinely appreciate advice from anyone who’s dealt with something similar or understands how these cases are handled in New York.