My Mother Has Dementia, Relatives Sold Her House Below Market Value, And Things Aren't Adding Up. Where Do I Start
I'm posting because this involves family, and I'm genuinely overwhelmed trying to figure out whether something inappropriate happened and what, if anything, I should do about it.
My mother has dementia and suffered a stroke a little over a year and a half ago. We never had a particularly close relationship, so I wasn't very involved in her day-to-day life or finances.
At some point, one of her cousins stepped in and began helping her manage things.
Here's where things start getting strange.
My mother's house was sold to another relative for significantly less than its market value. The paperwork was handled by yet another relative. None of her children were involved in the decisions surrounding the sale, at least not to my knowledge.
It wasn't until my mother needed somewhere to live that her children were brought into the picture.
Another thing that concerns me is that my mother was being charged nearly $300 a month for supposedly living at an address where she wasn't actually residing. When we discussed correcting her address to reflect where she really lived, there was pushback. We were told making those changes would be too difficult and could cause problems with her insurance.
Meanwhile, the monthly charges continued.
I don't understand why maintaining an inaccurate address was so important or why there was resistance to correcting it.
When I look at the situation as a whole — her dementia, the stroke, the below-market sale of her house to a relative, another relative handling the paperwork, and the questionable living arrangement — I can't help feeling that something isn't right.
I also want to explain why I'm even getting involved, because I think that matters.
I have absolutely no interest in financially benefiting from any of this. I'm not looking for an inheritance, a payout, or anything else. Frankly, if I could put a thousand miles between myself and the family dynamics surrounding this situation, I probably would.
My relationship with my mother has been complicated, and I don't believe that being someone's child automatically entitles you to anything they own. None of us were particularly close to her, and I don't think stepping in now should come with some expectation of being rewarded.
The truth is, I don't feel some overwhelming sense of family obligation. What bothers me is the possibility that a vulnerable person was taken advantage of simply because they were in no position to protect themselves.
And whether or not we had a close relationship, I don't think that's something I can comfortably ignore.
If everything was handled legitimately, that's fine. I would genuinely welcome an explanation that makes sense. But if she was exploited, I feel some responsibility to at least try to find out.
So I'm hoping someone can help me understand where to begin:
How can I find out whether the sale of her home was legally handled, especially considering her cognitive condition?
Is selling a vulnerable person's property to a relative significantly below market value something that warrants investigation?
How can I determine who had legal authority to make financial decisions on her behalf?
What should I make of someone continuing to charge her for an address where she wasn't actually living, while discouraging us from correcting it because of supposed insurance issues?
Who should I contact if I suspect possible elder financial exploitation but don't have concrete proof?
Has anyone dealt with something similar, and what would you recommend doing first?
I'm not looking to start a family war, and I'm certainly not looking to profit from any of this. I just believe there's a difference between having a complicated relationship with someone and being willing to look the other way if they've been mistreated.
I feel like I've stumbled into something bigger than I know how to navigate, and I could really use some guidance.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Location: Florida
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