Title: Tx: Ex Claims Common-law Marriage. How Strong Is My Defense?

Location: Texas, USA

My former same-sex partner recently filed for divorce, alleging that we entered into an informal (common-law) marriage in March 2010.

We were in an on-and-off relationship for approximately 14 years, raised children together, and jointly owned a home. However, I maintain that we were never married because I never agreed to be married.

I'm looking for an objective assessment of the evidence I have, the weaknesses in my position, and whether I have a reasonable chance of successfully contesting her claim.

Background and timeline

2007: We were together when our daughter was born. We raised children together and considered ourselves a family. However, I am not their legal parent, and there is no child custody dispute included in the divorce petition.

2009: We acquired a house together. The recorded deed identifies us as unmarried.

March 2010: This is when my former partner now claims we entered into an informal marriage. I don't know why she selected that date. I don't recall any agreement to marry or a significant event associated with it.

2010: We signed additional mortgage-related documents concerning the house.

2017: We signed property financing documents, including a recorded deed of trust that again identifies us as unmarried.

2019: We separated, and I moved out. We did not resume living together as spouses.

2026: Approximately seven years after our separation, she filed a divorce petition alleging an informal marriage.

Evidence I have

1. Property documents identifying us as unmarried

Our 2009 recorded deed identifies us as unmarried.

More importantly, the 2017 deed of trust also identifies us as unmarried, even though she now claims we had been married since March 2010.

Would a court consider these documents persuasive evidence against an informal marriage?

2. Federal income tax filings

Throughout our relationship, we filed our federal income taxes separately using unmarried filing statuses. We never filed as married filing jointly or married filing separately.

Would this be significant evidence that we did not publicly represent ourselves as married?

3. No mutual agreement to marry

I never agreed to marry her. I referred to her as my partner, not my wife.

We never had a wedding ceremony, and to my knowledge, we never signed or filed a declaration of informal marriage.

I understand that Texas does not require a ceremony for informal marriage, but my understanding is that the parties must agree to be married, live together in Texas as spouses, and represent themselves to others as married.

4. How we represented our relationship

I did not introduce her as my wife or consider myself married.

Family members can testify that I referred to her as my partner. There are also communications in which she acknowledged that I did not view our relationship the same way she did.

I understand that her own statements, witnesses, or other evidence could contradict my position.

5. Seven years between separation and filing

We separated in 2019, but she did not initiate divorce proceedings until 2026.

I've been reading Texas Family Code § 2.401(b), which discusses a rebuttable presumption that the parties did not agree to be married if proceedings to prove the marriage aren't commenced within two years after they separated and ceased living together.

How significant could that presumption be in my situation?

The jointly owned house

We acquired the house in 2009, before the alleged marriage date.

After we separated, my former partner repeatedly requested that I sign away my ownership interest.

My former partner previously asked me to sign documents removing my name from the house deed. During subsequent discussions, she told me, "Until all this gets resolved, you won't see Zian," referring to a child I helped raise but am not legally a parent to. I have retained the text messages. I interpreted her statements as connecting the unresolved dispute with my ability to see him, although she did not explicitly say that signing the deed was a condition of seeing him.

I am not seeking custody of the children. They are not legally mine, and no child custody issue is included in the petition.

Retirement accounts and financial assets

We both worked and accumulated financial assets during and after our relationship.

I previously had a 401(k), which I withdrew after our separation and used toward paying off my vehicle.

My former partner also had retirement savings and currently works for USPS, where she may have additional retirement benefits.

I would prefer not to pursue her 401(k), pension, or other retirement savings. My primary concern is defending against the allegation that we were legally married.

However, I understand that if a court recognizes an informal marriage, the dates when assets were acquired, their legal classification, and any applicable property division rules could become relevant.

I'm not assuming either party would automatically be entitled to half of everything.

What I'm trying to accomplish

I've consulted an attorney and would prefer to resolve this through mediation rather than a contested trial.

My position remains that no formal or informal marriage existed. I would like a legally effective resolution of that issue and a fair resolution of our jointly owned property.

If a settlement isn't possible, I want to understand the strength of my defense before proceeding further.

My questions

Based on these facts, how strong is my defense against the claim that we were informally married under Texas law?

How significant are the 2009 and 2017 recorded property documents identifying us as unmarried?

How much weight might a judge give to our consistently unmarried tax filings?

Does the seven-year gap between separation and filing strengthen my defense under Texas Family Code § 2.401(b)?

What kinds of evidence could my former partner present to overcome the presumption or establish that we agreed to marry?

Does the fact that this was a same-sex relationship with an alleged marriage date in 2010 create additional legal considerations?

If the court determines no marriage existed, what happens to our jointly owned house?

Is it possible to reach a legally binding resolution of the disputed marriage claim without a contested trial?

I'm not looking for reassurance or for people to automatically take my side.

I genuinely want to understand what evidence favors me, what evidence could hurt my case, and whether my defense is legally strong enough to succeed in court.

I understand that Reddit isn't a substitute for my attorney, but I'd appreciate perspectives from anyone familiar with Texas informal-marriage law.