Find Sabbath Rest As A Family

A friend whose kids are older than mine once asked me if I’d seen a particular movie. I simply shook my head and replied, “I’m in that stage of life.” My friend had no further questions. He remembered parenting young children.

My wife and I both work full-time jobs, and we live in a major metropolitan area with a high cost of living. We have a house to take care of and clean. We have two young kids whom we help with homework and shuttle to and from church and all their activities. Every minute is valuable, and every moment is spent doing something while feeling guilty that we should be doing something else.

Yet God commands us to rest; the fourth of the Ten Commandments is to “remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy” (Ex. 20:8). This is hard for many people, but maybe especially for those in the midst of raising kids.

So how can families create space for rest? From one busy parent to another, here are four tips to create margin for rest in this wild season of life.

1. Identify Your Goal

The fourth commandment contains two main concepts. People tend to focus on the second—the idea of resting. But the first key phrase is to keep the Sabbath day holy. The goal isn’t merely the cessation of activity but a time to refocus on God.

The Hebrew word translated Sabbath means “to rest” or “to cease,” but the verse’s context in the first half of the Ten Commandments points to renewing our focus on God. Luke 5:16 tells us that Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Despite his ministry burdens, he frequently took time to refresh himself in the Father.

As families, we must ask ourselves this question: “Why are we taking this time to rest?” If the goal is to play more video games or binge a season of your favorite show on Netflix, you won’t have accomplished anything of eternal importance. Even a walk in the woods or a trip to the beach may achieve nothing more than physical or mental relaxation.

The goal of the Sabbath is to rest in such a way that each member of the family can reprioritize his or her relationship with God.

2. Plan to Rest

Anything worthwhile requires planning. If you’re a busy parent, your life is full of school events, sports practices, music rehearsals, church activities, and gatherings. If everyone else tries to plan your time, shouldn’t you try to plan your own?

The goal of the Sabbath is to rest in such a way that each member of the family can reprioritize his or her relationship with God.

Get all the family’s calendars together and coordinate accordingly. When you’re considering whether or not to engage in an extracurricular activity or what level of classes your kids should take, plan to remember the Sabbath first.

As churches, we should plan our schedule to allow families these types of breaks. Our youth ministry lightened the schedule to allow parents more time to spend with children and to create opportunities for rest rather than constant programming.

3. Set Boundaries

You can make plans as a family, but someone or something will always demand your time and pull you away. Bosses have tight deadlines or last-minute projects; family members or church members may need help; a last-minute volunteer might be needed for nursery duty.

There’s always a reason to be going full speed in this season of life, and while some demands must be met to keep our jobs and livelihoods, we shouldn’t allow them to control our time and our relationship with God.

Our son was going to try out for a travel basketball team until we found out that most games would be played on Sunday morning and early afternoon. When you decide as a family that you’ll rest and grow in Christ together, you must protect your decision, even if you have to make tough choices or have uncomfortable conversations.

4. Work. Rest. Repeat.

The goal isn’t to have one occasion for rest as a family; it’s to make rest a regular part of our lives. When God gave the command for the Sabbath, he meant it to take place weekly. Once per week, we’d take time away from our duties to recalibrate our relationship with him.

In Israel, the land was supposed to be given a Sabbath as well, called the year of jubilee. All throughout the Bible is the idea that there are regular periods of activity and rest.

The goal isn’t to have one occasion for rest as a family; it’s to make rest a regular part of our lives.

It’s tempting to keep working because we think we must keep up with the Joneses. It’s tempting to feel we’re in an all-out sprint to accomplish everything and that taking a step back will result in us losing out on everything.

But Matthew 16:26 asks, “What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” Honoring the Sabbath as a family isn’t about trying to cease all activity for its own sake; it’s a test of where our allegiance lies—with the world or with God. As parents, we need to create a regular practice of rest so our families can commune with God.