The Irs Sends An Agent Out To Investigate A Small Business

The IRS (Internal Revenue Service, they collect taxes in the U.S.) sends an agent out to investigate a small business because they suspect that the owner is not paying proper wages to his employees.

The tax agent walks in to the place of business and approaches the owner. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."

"A list?" the owner asks. "There's no list. There’s only three people here in the whole place. What do you want to know?"

"I need to know how much everyone gets paid. Why don’t you start with the guy behind the counter?"

"Him? He’s been here for about 3 years. He makes about $280 a week plus free room and board."

"OK," the agent says. "That checks out." Who else works here?"

"See that young girl there?" The owner points to a young woman behind the cash register. "She’s only part time, 25 hours a week. She takes home about $175, plus she gets about another $50 in products to take home."

"Well, I guess that checks out," the tax agent says. "Who else works here?"

"Well ..."

"Well, what?" the agent asks.

"Well, there's this other worker, I think he's a bit … well, to put it nicely, he’s mentally challenged."

"Go on."

The owner lowers his voice. "He works about 17 or 18 hours a day, including Sundays. He does about 80% of all the work around here, including all the heavy lifting. But..." the owner pauses.

"But what?" the tax agent asks.

"He only clears about $65 a week on a good week. He pays his own room and board. Every Friday night he gets drunk on cheap beer. It helps him cope, y’know. And he also ... "

"He also what?" the tax agent asks impatiently.

"He also has sex with my wife, probably about once every month or so."

"That's the guy I want to see," the government agent says. "This mentally challenged guy."

"Well," says the owner. "You’re talking to him."