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Let’s Assess The Football Jocks’ Dating Advice

On this week’s episode of the Kelce brothers’ New Heights podcast, the duo answered a listener’s question about how to ask a girl out, and they might as well have just said, “Be a hot guy.”

The brothers have famously landed some knockout women—Travis with fiancée Taylor Swift, and Jason with wife Kylie Kelce. So, yes, I suppose this line of questioning tracks. How did they do it???

Here’s how Travis responded: “I think first you gotta figure out what you like about her. Do you like the way she looks? The way she dresses? How funny she is? How kind she is?” And once you determine that, he advised that you should then compliment her on it as a way “in.”

Wow. OK. Groundbreaking stuff. Let me write this down.

Seriously, what kind of AI advice is this? You locked down the most famous bachelorette in the world, and this is all you got? Sigh.

Perhaps the reason Travis and Taylor clicked so well is that she liked him. Duh. Her mom urged her to go out with him in the first place, which is already a massive stamp of approval. He’s a big, bearded, hairy, muscly star athlete, but that probably had nothing to do with it. Everyone asks Travis how he did it, but did anyone stop to ask if Mama Swift was the mastermind all along? After hearing this advice, I’m considering all possibilities…

I think Jason had much better advice: “Here’s what you do, you ask her out.” And Travis agreed, “There’s no other way around it. You just gotta do it, man. You just gotta own it. You gotta have some cojones. What’s the worst she’s gonna say? No?” Can’t really argue with that.

However, my personal favorite dating tip shared on the “hotline” was an anecdote about their father, Ed Kelce, whose sage advice was to “find her unattractive friend, befriend her, and start making her feel like she’s interested.” Now THIS is advice. This is something. These are the kind of sneaky manipulation tactics every 90s and early-aughts romcom was built on. Taylor Swift’s future father-in-law, folks!

“If you’re asking advice from us, you better figure it out on your own,” Travis concluded. This might be the smartest thing he’s ever said. You can’t ask the jocks for dating advice, but whatever, I’m not upset. At least the caller is asking a real human man for advice, and not ChatGPT. It could always be so much worse.

Harry Styles was told to practice peeing on himself for marathon training. Fun! [People]
P!nk is NOT divorcing her husband, Cary Hart, despite rumors. [USA Today]
Lindsay Lohan on her teen years: “Why didn’t anyone protect me more?” [Vogue Arabia]
Nicki Minaj was dumped by her lawyers. [TMZ]
Megan Thee Stallion is coming to Broadway! [Playbill]
Lisa Rinna says she was drugged at The Traitors premiere party…[Alan Cumming accent] Sounds like the work of a traitor. [People]

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Let’s Assess The Football Jocks’ Dating Advice

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