Why You Can't Say No (it's Your Father Wound) - Terri Cole

Struggling with how to set boundaries? Your unhealed father wound boundaries issues might be the real reason you can't say no.
In this episode, I break down why people pleasing and codependency so often trace back to father wound boundaries you never dealt with — and what healthy boundaries relationships actually require instead. I walk through the different father wound archetypes (absent, critical, emotionally distant, narcissistic father effects, abusive, and more) and how each one creates disordered boundaries in your adult relationships, plus journal prompts to find your own pattern.
If you've ever felt guilty, selfish, or terrified of disappointing someone just for setting a limit, this is the missing piece.

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Time Stamps
00:00 Intro — how a father wound affects your boundaries
01:00 You have a right to your boundaries
02:15 Why disordered boundaries develop
03:19 Learning you're "not worth protecting"
05:00 The different types of father wounds
05:58 Absent father → fear of abandonment
06:30 Critical/controlling father → self-doubt
06:45 Emotionally distant father → fear of being "too much"
08:10 Abusive father → boundaries feel dangerous
10:22 Unreliable/dependent father → confusion over what's "yours to carry"
11:20 Narcissistic father → your needs don't matter
11:50 Passive father → conflict avoidance
12:18 Favoritism → earning approval instead of setting limits
13:43 Journal prompts to identify your father wound
17:10 You don't need your father's participation to heal this
18:45 Final thoughts + how to start healing

If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
https://youtu.be/-n_gNfPDzZ0 - Don't Believe These Father Wound Myths! (Truth Revealed Inside)
https://youtu.be/fvbHM6fenTM - Father Wounds and Authority: Why You Can't Speak Up
https://youtu.be/VuPDun_iF2E - How Your Father Wound Makes You Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men
https://youtu.be/YN2RpqY7TMw - Healing Father Wounds + Where to Start (For a Less Painful Father's Day)


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About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/

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Episode 860

#fatherwound #emotionalsafety #codependency #innerchildhealing #attachmentstyles #relationshipadvice #selfworth