16 Year Old Daughter Spiraling Despite Therapy, Etc. -at A Loss & Looking For Advice

Location: Iowa, USA

I honestly don’t even know where to start anymore, but our family is in complete crisis & I’m looking for advice -legal, parenting, mental health, placement options, literally anything.

Over roughly the last 7 months:

• Daughter (16) started unsafe online behavior involving Snapchat, strangers, adult men, explicit photos/videos, etc.

• Started obtaining/using multiple “burner” phones to bypass restrictions

• Lies/manipulates constantly to continue unsafe behavior

• Type 1 diabetic

• Mental health rapidly declined

• Psychiatric hospitalization earlier this year

• Multiple medication changes over the last several months

• Weekly therapy, psych med management, family therapy, probation involvement, social work involvement, etc.

• Stole my vehicle in March & ended up on informal probation

• Increasing aggression, emotional escalation, impulsivity, manipulation, defiance, & unsafe behavior

• Younger siblings (12 & 7) are now emotionally affected/terrified constantly

• This past weekend she ran away for approximately 24 hours without psychiatric meds, insulin, or diabetic testing supplies, having "friends" lie to us & police to keep her hidden

• Was ultimately found with another burner phone still using Snapchat to talk to strangers/adult men when we found her & brought her home

• Told psych nurse to her face the day after returning home that she just wants us to kick her out of the house so she can do whatever she wants -psych nurse reported/filed to court system that our daughter is severely mentally unstable

• Admitted she wants help & voluntarily agreed to temporarily stay at a facility in Waterloo, IA

• There's SOOO much more - her biological father truly screwed her up to the point she wants nothing to do with him, yet tell everyone she would rather live with him than be home... he's not a good person, father or otherwise & exposed our daughter to very sexual things as young as the age of 4 years old, which we knew nothing about until recently, aside from when our daughter got into porn (hard-core, fetish, etc.) At the age of 4 at his house- we were told, promised that it was taken care of & he locked all devices. Therapist at the time was notified, but apparently a lot more has happened, only coming out within the last several months.

We have:

• removed electronics

• locked medications/sharps

• monitored constantly

• changed rules/boundaries countless times

• attended every appointment

• tried support, consequences, structure, understanding, therapy, etc.

At this point our entire household revolves around crisis management. Our marriage, younger kids, home environment, work/business, and mental health are all being heavily impacted.

We love our daughter deeply & know she is not a bad person. She can be incredibly caring, funny, intelligent, & loving. But right now she is extremely impulsive, unsafe online, emotionally unstable, & seems unable/unwilling to stop these behaviors despite consequences or support.

Has anyone dealt with anything remotely similar? What finally helped? Did residential treatment help? How do you protect younger siblings while also trying not to completely destroy your relationship with your child?

Again, this isn't even the tip of the iceberg- there's sooo much more that has happened.

Even with probation, we are constantly told to "weather the storm", "stay the course", etc. ....ultimately being asked to sit back, keep going, & just watch our household/family burn to the ground.