9yr Old Had Panic Attack During Her First Court-ordered Call With Her Father. Looking For Advice?

Location: NJ

Last week, a judge granted me sole legal and physical custody of my 9-year-old daughter. Her father was awarded parenting time. The order provides for weekly phone calls until July 12, and after July 12 they are scheduled to meet every Sunday from 12 PM to 3 PM in a public place. The order also states that after establishing parenting time and a relationship with our daughter, he may file in the future seeking joint custody.

For background, her father has been largely absent from her life. In the last year and a half, he has only seen her once. In her entire life, he has seen her approximately six times.

Before the first scheduled phone call, my daughter made it very clear that she did not want to talk to him and was not interested in having the call. When he called yesterday, she had what I can only describe as a severe panic attack. She immediately started crying, ran to her room, locked the door, and refused to come out. I answered the call and he could hear her crying in the background, so we ended the call almost immediately.

Even after the call ended, she remained locked in her room, crying and refusing to open the door for quite some time. Eventually she calmed down, but it was extremely upsetting to witness. She has never reacted this way toward anyone or anything else. She has never had this type of reaction about school, family members, friends, doctors, activities, or any other situation. This reaction seems to be specifically related to her father. That’s part of why I’m so concerned. I am genuinely worried about the level of emotional distress she experienced. This wasn’t a child who was excited and then sad afterward—she did not want the call in the first place and had an intense reaction as soon as it happened.

One of the things I’m struggling with is whether this is something I should address legally right away or whether it’s too soon. This was only the first court-ordered phone call, so part of me wonders if I need to give my daughter more time to adjust and see how things develop. On the other hand, the intensity of her reaction has me concerned.

Legally what should I do? Is this too early to raise concerns with an attorney, the court, or a therapist since it was only the first call? Or would a reaction this severe be enough to start documenting and seeking advice now? I’m trying to figure out whether I should wait and see how she handles future contact or if this is the appropriate time to take action and advocate for additional support or changes.