My Mother Stole My Brother's Inheritance.

Location: Tennessee

So my(27f) father passed away in 2019 due to complications with his heart and he left my brother(25m) and I a lot of money in life insurance. He and my mother(49f) have been divorced for most of my life, like since I was 3 or 4 and has nothing to do with my father other than being co parents.

By sometime mid 2020, his estate was settled and life insurances paid out to his only two children, myself and my brother, and we both set up separate bank accounts from our every day accounts so that we kept the money separate from what we had day to day. My money was used to buy a house and the rest was put in a certificate of some kind to grow as long as I don't touch it with a really good interest rate. My brother however only used the money to pay out his debts and left everything in a separate savings account so it would grow until he wanted to use it.

When these accounts were created, our mother was present and worked with an adviser to help get us set up in life with these new accounts, my brother was only 18 at the time and didn't trust himself, or didn't feel confident enough, to manage this kind of money alone, and so put my mother's name on the account so she could help him. My money was only ever managed by me and her name never touched my accounts, thankfully...

Cut to just this past Saturday, I ask my brother if he can help me out with about $10,000 so I can get to work on some legal stuff in regards me being unemployed and looking into immigrating to Europe with my partner. The process can take a long time and I still wanted to build interest on my money until it's unlocked in November, when I would pay him back. We get to the bank and the poor lady at the desk had to tell him that his account didn't have that kind of money in it, which is weird to both of us because the amount should be somewhere close to a quarter of a million dollars. It's ALL GONE, all that's left was about $9000 and some change before we pulled all of it into my accounts so that the rest of it can't suddenly disappear on us too.

We got the bank statements from since the account was created and it's nothing but transfer statements from this account directly to our mother's checking account for the last 5 years until February of this year. A thousand dollars here, 5000 there, a couple of $10000 transfers sprinkled about, more than a hundred thousand alone in 2021. and it looks like se finally stopped since the end of February as here was barely anything left, with the last three transactions being $1000, $500, and $500.

We confronted her in person that evening and she admitted to it! saying that it was for bills that had to be paid for her, or our step dad(49m), or the dog when he broke his back (he's mostly fine now btw), but that doesn't even come close to justifying any of this! So much money is just gone, all spent (she said) and my brother had nothing to show for it.

It's not like we haven't helped her in the past; she asked for about $20000 from me when her insurance wouldn't cover her breast cancer surgery (double mastectomy and implants), which I gave her because she's my mom and the only one of my two parents I had left. She also asked my brother for help one time in regards to something, but I'm not sure and it looks like it was only about $8000 or so from the bank statements. She knew she could ask for help and either of us probably would have helped her, but no. She instead took the money gradually because "I needed it and it was just right there ..." and now it's gone.

What do I even do now. She says she wants to pay it all back and does seem at least remorseful. The sad thing is she was a pretty good mom growing up, prioritized both of us over her own comfort countless times and tried to be fair with both of us. My Step dad is a pretty stand up guy, filled in the whole my father left even when he was alive. My brother is heartbroken and grieving, I'm pissed off, and my step dad (according to both of them) never even knew she was doing this to her own son. I doubt we can do anything criminally since her name was on that account, but is there anything we could do civilly? Or anything we should do before coming to the table to find a solution with this? My step dad says he wants to make this right and make sure my brother gets everything he is owed back, but I don't know how that's going to happen given where they are in life. Sure my mom works, but my stepdad can't or else he loses his benefits with the VA. Any advice for how to proceed will be helpful and I'll be sure to show all of this to my brother once he's feeling a little more clear minded. Thank you.