Am I Required To Accommodate My Roommate's Disability?

Location: Angeles, CA

I recently signed a lease with a friend of a friend for a two-bedroom apartment. I was in a rush because my previous roommate moved in with his fiance and I have a dog, so finding a place to live is hard and I was afraid of ending up living in my car. Obviously I rushed into this way too quickly. The guy seemed nice enough, a little awkward and nerdy, but so am I.

We met a couple of times, signed the lease, and moved in. We didn't have a sit down discussion about household responsibilities right away. Big mistake, I know. I didn't do that with either of my last two roommates either, we just sort of did what needed to be done. Took the trash out when full, cleaned the kitchen after cooking. If one noticed the other doing something like sweeping or mopping, the other would pitch in and either help or do something else like clean the bathroom. It just worked.

The first week I noticed that new roommate Cole had not washed any of his dishes. He moved in with some paper plates, but mostly used my dishes and then left them in the sink. I figured he would get around to it and didn't say anything. By the second week the garbage was full, the sink was full of Cole's dishes, and it was clear he had not cleaned a single thing since moving in.

So I told him we needed to talk about chores. That's when he came out with this explanation that he is actually disabled, and expects me to accomodate his disability. He has this thing called pathological demand avoidance. He was very calm and kind as he explained it. "I have a nervous system disability. When my subconscious mind perceives a demand, it has a severe fight or flight response, like I am being attacked by a bear. This renders me incapable of meeting that demand. Demands can include things like being asked to take out the garbage, or even my body feeling hungry because needing to eat is a demand."

Then he explained that disabilities require reasonable accommodation by law, and for his disability and reasonable accommodation is a low-demand lifestyle. That means he does not have to do any chores. But also, he wants me to do all the chores because "my subconscious could perceive the sink full of dirty dishes as a demand". Also he would like me to occasionally bring him food when he feels the demand to prepare it is too great. I asked him how he works, since work is a demand and I know he has a remote job. He said he actually works for his dad, and his job accommodates him by letting him work only when he feels like it, while paying him his full salary. Mostly he is in there playing Minecraft.

I just signed a year lease with this guy, and he is nuts. Is this even a real thing? Is the Americans with Disabilites Act really for everyone and not just businesses? Do I have to accommodate this guy just because I made the mistake of moving in with him?