American Couple Married In The Us, Living In Thailand. Husband Cheated And Left Me, Cut Me Out Completely Financially And Left Me In A Desperate Position.

Location: Thailand. But we are Americans and our assets (bank accounts) and employment are in the US.

We have been married 20 years. We are 42 and 44. We have two kids aged 13 and 10.

Husband told me in March that he hadn’t loved me in 10 years and after a series of really horrible things he told me he wanted a divorce. He was drunk. I was devastated and taken aback, but not really that surprised after I started to look back. He was doing some things I should have paid more attention to and decided to ignore. But the signs were there.

Fast forward about a month, we went on a 3 day trip to Australia to try to reconcile. He ended up confessing that he hacked into my phone and was reading my personal messages for months and translating them (my first language is Spanish). There was no proof of infidelity because I had never cheated. I was ambushed with a whole lot of ridiculous accusations I had to dismantle one by one. He even used lies to try to extract a “confession” from me; then HE confessed to having an affair himself years ago that lasted a few months.

After hearing all this, I decided that it was too much for me and I moved out. I was in so much pain I couldn’t even think straight.

He asked for forgiveness, I asked for time. He said of course, find a place big enough for you and the kids and near the school and I’ll pay for it. I found a place under the budget he proposed. When he realized that I was really moving out, he got so angry that he moved out all the money from our joint account and redirected his salary to an account I have no access to. He canceled all credit cards and told me that if I wanted to leave he was not going to “finance my lifestyle”.

He is the main provider here, I have no real job prospects here with my profession but still managed to work remotely and pay my bills. I’m really struggling. When he leaves the kids with me he gives me zero money. He is a millionaire BtW.

I talked to a couple of lawyers and they say that, in order to divorce him properly, I have to move to the US for 6 months with the kids to establish residency and THEN file. Even after the court reaches a decision, it’s not completely clear if any custody, alimony or asset separation would be doable if he is in Thailand due to jurisdiction issues. He has the kids passports hidden and is documenting that for the past 4 years the kids have lived here in Bangkok (he got a letter from the school). He said he found evidence on my phone that I had cheated during a trip to Japan (not true; he just twisted the bad translation) and kept making accusations so the narrative is that I was the one cheating and leaving.

Looks like I’m really screwed here and I’m not sure what to do. I am also a cancer patient. I have insurance but the way it works here is that you pay in advance and then get care. Because I am not Thai, I have to use the private hospitals which are way too expensive for me. He doesn’t care and won’t give me a CC to use at the hospital, even though he would get reimbursed for everything.

He is trying to cut my oxygen while at the same time hiring a bar girl as a “nanny” and he pays her the amount of money I pay for rent (almost 4 times the normal nanny salary). He says that if I want to move back I can, but he is already with someone else “an amazing person”.

What can I do in this case? I have never thought I’d be facing this level of financial insecurity on top of everything else. For the first time in my life I am having suicidal thoughts. I ran out of money for counsel. Please help me. Thank you.