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California, Usa- Want To Honor Dad's Funeral Preference.

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Location: California My dad lives in California, and I’m trying to figure out how to protect his final wishes while he’s still alive. He’s married to my stepmother, and recently I found out she has been threatening him about what she plans to do when he dies. She keeps telling him that she’ll have him cremated, that she won’t allow his family to attend his funeral, and that she won’t tell us where his remains are or let us see him. The problem is that my dad has told me many times, very clearly, that he wants to be buried due to religious beliefs. These threats go directly against what he wants, and I’m worried because I know a spouse usually has legal priority over funeral and burial decisions. I want to know what he can do now, while he’s alive and mentally capable, to make his wishes legally binding. Can he sign a written declaration about how he wants his remains handled? Can he appoint me or someone else to be in charge of his final arrangements instead of his spouse? Would putting instructions in a will or an advance directive actually prevent her from overriding him? I’m not trying to interfere in their marriage or get anything from him. I want his wishes to be respected, and I want to be able to say goodbye to my father when the time comes.

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