Does My Ex Have Power To Tell My Wife She Can’t Be Alone With My Daughter?

Location: Massachusetts

my child’s mother and I share custody of our 9 year old and have been broken up since February 2022. Ever since then till this day, her and I established parental time without the court, agreeing that I will have her Thursday after school till Saturday 630. some days get shorten or extended, however that’s due to wanting to keep her for fun/engaging activities for example.

I met my now wife on July 2023 and we tied the knot this past month. we have a 5 month old daughter.

Lately, my daughter’s mother has been acting very controlling about who can be around our daughter during my parenting time.

Her main issue is my wife. My daughter loves her, they get along very well, and there are no safety concerns that I’m aware of. My wife does not have a criminal background, does not have a restraining order, and has never harmed or mistreated my daughter. My daughter loves having girl time with my wife when she has to run a quick errand while I watch the baby.

The problem is that my ex is saying I’m basically not allowed to leave my daughter alone with my wife at all. For example, if I have to go to an appointment or do something for a short period of time, she says my daughter has to go back to her instead of staying with my wife. She’s also very intrusive about wanting to know exactly where my daughter is and whether she is “under my care” every moment. This also escalated from a recent argument we had regarding Easter. My ex does not celebrate Easter. Not because of religious background, only because she was just never a big fan. we both come from a Christian background, except my wife who is catholic. her family goes big with Easter breakfast and will host Easter egg hunt with the kids. knowing that my daughter won’t experience that if she were to go back to her moms on Sunday, I did ask if I’m able to have her on Sunday for Easter. only thing is I left out the part that I wouldn’t be attending as I had to go into work, and I knew she wouldn’t agree if I wasn’t around. I understand that wasn’t the right thing to do, but I’d rather leave some details out than have a big fight. my argument is, you would rather take away fun activities from my daughter away because if your insecurities? My wife will watch her like a hawk as I would periodically check in on them.

This feels controlling to me, on top of other examples that’s probably best for another post, especially because she has her own fiancé involved with my daughter and seems to think that’s fine, but my wife is somehow different.

I’m not trying to create drama. I just want a clear understanding of what my rights are and whether this is something a judge would actually take seriously. I’m at my breaking point that I’m about to contact a lawyer for a custody agreement. we both already have a child support agreement back in 2024. I’m aware that it’s separate from a custody agreement but not sure if that helps out.