I (36f) Am Scared For My Brother's (35m) Well-being. Is There Anything I Can Do?

Location: Georgia, USA (My husband and I live overseas though

This might be above Reddit's paygrade (I know it's above mine) but this is a difficult situation and I'm feeling a bit desperate, so I hope posting this could still help in some way. I will do my best to be concise.

My mother was 18 when she gave birth to me and my brother was born a little more than a year later. We were both premature babies but I grew up to be healthy in every regard while my brother (we'll call Caiden) has severe cerebral palsy.

My parents divorced soon after this and my mom found it difficult to take care of us both. My mom approached my paternal grandparents to ask them to take custody of my brother, which (thankfully) they agreed to do. They lived a comfortable lifestyle and had the means to take care of my brother.

Growing up, I would visit my dad every other weekend and most of these visits involved going to church on Sunday and spending time with my him, his parents (my paternal grandparents), and Caiden. His cerebral palsy is severe enough that he's always been wheelchair-bound and doesn't have enough muscle control to walk or do anything on his own. He would nod for "yes" or stick out his tongue for "no." With enough effort, he would be able to say a single word, even if it came out unclear or muffled. Other than that, his ability to speak has always been practically non-existent. In short, he has always needed someone to take care of him.

My grandmother (in spite of my personal relationship with her) took excellent care of my brother. She always made sure he was dressed nicely, well-groomed, fed properly, and that he was included at every opportunity, whether that was in social activities, school, etc. When she passed away a few years ago, the quality in my brother's care gradually started declining. My grandfather was taking care of my brother, and my father would come in the evenings to assist but it wasn't to the same level he used to be taken care of. My mom would occasionally tell me her concerns, after visiting him, about how he wasn't getting haircuts and how he was getting thinner. I also learned that my grandfather was developing dementia. I didn't understand how severe this situation was until my husband and I visited a few months ago.

The whole visit was extremely depressing. Caiden's hair was overgrown and he was gaunt. There were also moments where I touched Caiden's arm and felt how thin he was under his sleeve. Talking to him, it was like he didn't perceive that I was there, he was so unresponsive. My dad (who is unemployed now and is taking care of Caiden full-time) had this defeated air about him and he explained that Caiden has gradually had more and more seizures as he's gotten older. From my own research, this seems to be a common occurrence with people with cerebral palsy. A doctor prescribed him medicine to combat the seizures but it seems that it wasn't properly treating the seizures and also resulting in putting him in a catatonic state, that, even after stopping the medication, would take a long time to exit his body? It seems like a new doctor's prescribed diet managed to stop my brother's seizures but it's almost keto except even more restrictive, eliminating all carbs, seeds and nuts, citrus, and so many other things. The only healthy fats he can consume is avocado, coconut, salmon, and maybe a few other things. It seems to me that while it may be good that he's no longer having seizures, if he's literally wasting away, it's almost just as bad of a situation or worse!

After the visit, and after my husband and I returned home, I tried doing research to see if there were any easy recipes that could introduce more fat into my brother's diet, so I could send those to my father. I used to do keto so I already knew about fat bombs. I thought that in itself would be a low-effort way for my father to introduce give Caiden more calories. But even if a recipe included something easily omittable or replaced like like lime zest, my father would just rebut my efforts by saying that "Caiden can't have citrus." After a few exchanges like this, it made me doubt my father's efforts. This was further cemented by my mother later telling me that, after she raised her own concerns, my grandfather and father each made comments about how his current weight made it easier for him to lift or carry! At least my mom would feed him extra food when she visited. At this point, I felt like my mother was the only family member who was trying to make efforts in taking care of him.

It has now gotten to the point that my father needs financial assistance from my grandfather or else he will have to consider putting my brother in a facility to take care of him. Remember, my father is unemployed and my grandfather, though financially comfortable, has gradually worsening dementia. My dad texted my mother not too long ago, asking if she would be able to take care of Caiden if he no longer couldn't- which seems like a facility isn't his first choice for Caiden, but my mother isn't in a position to take care of Caiden on her own either. She was in tears as she told me this over the phone. I didn't know what else to say other than that she needed to talk to a lawyer, to see if there's a way in which my grandfather can financially be more responsible for my brother. Even with dementia is still his legal guardian after all.

What more can I do? Or my parents do? This whole thing is a mess. Thank you for reading, if you managed to get this far.