I Dont Know If My Ex Is Trying To Trick Me About Custody Due To My Housing (oh)

Location: [OH]

kids ages:

13F, 9F, 7M.

current custody arrangements:

Mom has kids monday-friday. i pay child support. i have them on weekends. mom handles everything with her new husband (doctors, school, etc.). Its been this way since the divorce.

For background, my ex (30F) and i (34M) have been divorced for around 5 years. I have had some issues, including last year when my parents threw me out because my dad attacked me in front of the kids during my parenting time. I was homeless for like 5 months and only seen my kids for a few hours on the weekends. My ex was understanding about it, ill give her that.

I moved in with my mom who got her own place. Then got kicked out cause my parents got back together, so last weekend i could only take my kids on the weekend. I got them 2-6 on saturday and 11-6 on sunday. Then my moms landlord said that i could stay, but i had to turn the electricity back on. I told my ex that id get the electric turned back on this week.

But they added late fees. And my girlfriend works part time and gets SSI, i doordash but dont have a regular job and havent for a while. I told my ex i couldnt keep the kids overnight this weekend either.

Well, she texts me going off, saying this is the same bullshit I pull every time. I make last‑minute excuses, ditch the kids, and leave them to deal with the fallout. She said she hasnt said anything about me being super behind in child support, or any of the other issues she has had. Then she asked how patient I expect her to be.

For the record, my name isnt on the lease or the electric. its my moms. and my mom wont help. she isnt allowed to see the kids and is mad about it. my dad physically assaulted me in front of my kids and told my oldest she was a 'petty bitch like her mom' over my oldest not giving him a hug during my parenting time last year leading to me being homeless for about 5 months. then my mom left my dad and got a place so i moved in with her. but she got back with him and moved out, but kept coming over with my dad in the car during my parenting time when my mom would bring food and stuff over to me and my sister (who also lived with my mom).

Thing is my ex is right. I only kept the kids 4pm-8pm last night and am getting them 10am-6pm tomorrow. my ex talked to me during drop off, and said that my 9 year old has been hoarding food again because my electric is off. My ex said she was too mad to talk earlier and wanted me to enjoy the time with the kids. but she essentially said this:

She doesnt want to speak for me, but it seems to her that i cant get my shit together. She was understanding about the first time, but now it is looking like a pattern. its not fair to the kids. Neither of our issues should never come at a cost to the kids.

i told her she was right about telling me HEAP wouldnt help since it wasnt in my name but they disconnected the electric and put it in my name, i need 250 to turn it on. she asked if my name was being put on the lease and i said no. she works with the homeless so she explained that is considered housing instability, and that even if i pay the electric i could be thrown out since it is income based housing. i told her i know and i was thinking i might have to leave anyways and just live in my car. she kind of sighed. i said couldnt turn the electric on and waste that money to just be thrown out anyways. then she said if thats the case she needs to know by Wednesday because its not fair to the kids or her and her husband for visitation to be canceled late thursday night. i apologized and told her that i would. she said if it does happen we need to go to the library, sit down, and write a new parenting plan to take back to court.

i asked if that was bad for me she said no, it was to give the kids stability and predictability. she said that we would both write the plan together so we can go over it and agree on everything. she said their (her and her husbands) focus is the kids and they dont think the kids not seeing me is in their best interests, but neither is them up worrying until 11pm sick wondering if im okay. she said shed want set hours on the weekends that i would get them, and it would say that there would be a transition back to the normal parenting plan once im stability housed.

is she tricking me? what should the plan say? i feel like a loser. shes absolutely fine and im... homeless a second time and the only sympathy I get is from my ex wife and her new husband.