I Need Help And Im Scared.

Location: Chicago Illinois.

Im 17 now and I done something really stupid at the darkest time of my life after I left the mental hospital I stayed at for 10 days when I was 14. From what I remember I used discord and chatted with these group of boys.

One of them asked for nudes and I sent one that lead to more then I can count. It was going on at 14 I think, all the way to 15.

I didnt want to do it but this guy who i remember was older then me kept asking for me and as a young girl whos been severely bullied and have no irl friends i was swayed easily in wanting to please him. Like I said this was a darkest time in my life cause I had many arguments with my parents at the time before I left the mental hospital and when I actually did leave.

There were many instances where I did sexual acts in video without mt face shown and pictures of myself.

He kept asking and after I finally put my foot down after 4 months the guy argued with me and called me names he never threatened to do anything with those videos and pictures is ent since I deleted them and he blocked me and I never seen him again he told me he lives in Washington DC.

There was another guy who was slightly younger then him who I was also in contact cause we were friends at the time I believe. He vented to me about his life and I told him i can be a listening ear since I know what its like to feel alone, I've given many advices to people online so I thought nothing of it. After I told him about what happened to me and why I want to leave discord for a few days to take a breather he seem to understand and let me be offline for a bit after I seem comfortable going on discord me and that guy who was 13 at the time we talked alot everything was fine, until he started asking if he can date me and me at the time who was 15 wasnt sure about it and I wasnt given him a absolute yes but he kept pushing for a few times on different days until I finally agreed. When we dated he asked for nudes after he promised he wouldnt.

We used Snapchat and discord to send nudes in.

He been reckless and insulting me when i give him advice I told him not to smoke because he told me his chest hurts so I knew him smoking was the reason why.

then one day he wanted to say a racial slur thats against my race and when I stood my ground and told him no he cut himself and sent me multiple pictures of his bloody arms and I was mortified and I was scared and didnt know what to do i urged him to tell his parents but he wouldnt. after several months I finally left him when it was July one that year and i didn't look back I was emotionally tired and I clearly hated this all of it.

Im scared to tell my parents. They already didnt care that I broke the news to them that I been suicidal since I was 11 they didnt show any empathy and choose to blame me for keeping secrets even though I told my dad I was getting picked on and he accused me of being the one to start the mess and I was 12 going through self harming and starving myself.

Bear with me please im using all this info out of memory I just need help.

I sent nudes to fill the void of living a life as a depressed suicidal teen who been bullied for years and having zero exposure of friends. It was hard. Life still is hard and I been feeling guilty all this time i just need help. My go to person is my counselor but when i told her some of this info she told me since im a minor if i sent nudes she will call my mom cause she has to and I got scared and lied about not sending nudes.