My Unborn Child’s Mother Is Threatening To Cut Me Out Of My Kids Life - Update

Location: CA
Hey all. I (M21, now 22) had posted a while back on this subreddit about how my ex (F22), the woman carrying my unborn child, was threatening to completely shut me out of my child’s life following the breakup. I came on here to get some legal advice on what my options were going to be for getting custody arranged after the baby was born, and recieved some amazing advice and hard hitting reality checks on what couldn’t be done. I came to terms with everything and braced for impact as the due date approached.

I want to give you all some back story about everything that went down after my ex and I broke up that wasn’t relevant before.

When my ex and I began talking about her pregnancy about two days after we broke up, the people around me kept saying that this all felt “too convenient”. Finding out she’s pregnant two days after you guys break up? Of course it was suspicious, but i was in no place to doubt those odds at the risk of her cutting contact and the chance of me never knowing my kid. She went to several appointments, the first one being to get a urine test at the gyno that came out negative. Afterwards, she got a blood test that also came out negative. She told me the doctor wanted more tests, saying she was “convinced” she was pregnant. She told me that they did an ultrasound and were finally able to confirm the pregnancy. At this point, she began to withhold more and more information from me and became avoidant. Still talking to me, but keeping things really cryptic and confusing. At one point, she decided it was best to get an abortion. She said she didn’t believe in abortions, but that at this stage in our lives it would be unreasonable to keep the pregnancy considering we were both students and how our relationship didn’t work out. I went with her to the appointment and she made me wait in the car, which was reasonable. I asked her if she wanted to call when she took the pills after the 24 hours, and she said they gave her a “one and done” pill. When I mentioned this to my friends, they told me there was no such thing and I began to think she was lying about ever having taken anything. I didn’t push too hard for more information, as she took everything as an attack against her and threatened to end contact with me. afterwards, we stopped talking for a little bit, until she texted me, “do you want to see your baby?”. I immediately answered, confused, but said yes. She showed me an ultrasound photo for a baby that was at 18 weeks gestational period. Not only did I know she had drank alcohol within this time period, the picture was flagged for AI. Again, the looming possibility of her cutting contact was too much to bear, so i didn’t say anything.

I was obviously extremely skeptical at this point and didn’t know what was true. What was her goal?

A bit after that I accompanied her to a gyno appointment. She told me we would get there late, and as we were about 10 minutes away she said, “Nevermind, we’re not gonna make it.”, and turned the car around and we went home. Again, very odd.

As time went by, we fought more and more. Every suggestion she had got crazier and crazier. She picked the name out, found out the gender, told me he wouldn’t have my last name, refused to let me go and get any genetic testing done, refused to let me help, and told me she wanted to do with on her own without me. As our conversation got more scarce, one of my close and trusted friends told me him and his pregnant partner went with her to an ultrasound appointment.

He told me that at said appointment, he saw the baby. He said its heartbeat was very weak and that the doctor expressed concerns about the baby making it to term.

This reinforced my beliefs and I continued to ask for small updates on her and the baby’s health. I came to term with the legal options I had after seeing the comments on this subreddit and began to allocate funds towards legal fees for the upcoming custody battle.

I haven’t heard anything from her in the past month and a half. She cut contact with me very suddenly with no warning and I just thought I’d stick to my initial plan, hoping i’d be able to hear through the grapevine about the baby.

Yesterday, I get sent a post from her social media. It was a photo post with several pictures of herself in them. very, very, visibly….not pregnant. Doing the math, she should be a whopping 32 weeks pregnant. She should be showing.

I immediately starting wondering. My thoughts process has been altered in a very negative way due to all of this so I wondered if she had already had the baby, if she lost the baby, if she actually got the abortion when she said she did and just wanted to torture me, and if she was ever even pregnant at all. I couldn’t believe anyone would ever drag something on for this long. I didn’t cheat on her, physically hurt her, I didn’t neglect her. I couldn’t believe she would hate me so much as to pull something so crazy like this.

In the midst of my mental limbo, I got a text from one of her friends, one of which she used to be very close to. She was asking me about something unrelated and we got to talking. They apparently stopped being friends a while back and fully confessed to me over the course of an extremely long phone call that the whole thing was a lie. everything.

I don’t even know what to do about it at this point. I’m still in complete shock. Because of how this has taken a toll on me, I still can’t believe it. I don’t know if her motive was to make it seem like she was lying to get away with running off with the kid, or if the kid was real but never actually mine. My close friend lied to my face, what was his motive? Her friends all lied for her, was it really possible she was surrounded by yes men who are all incapable of discernment? I don’t know. If this entire post sounds like a mess, it’s because it is a mess. At this point the only legal advice i’m interested in is suing her for emotional damage, because that’s exactly what she did.

TLDR: My ex lied to me for 7 months about a baby that was probably never real.