Options For Non-consenting Ex Spouse On Medical Care, Tennessee

Location: Tennessee

For the record, I have retained legal counsel and am waiting to hear back from them as they’ve been my lawyer throughout divorce and repeat mediation, but my parental anxiety is through the roof on this.

My ex-husband and I share custody of three children; I have 60 percent physical custody and am the primary household, however we share joint decision making on all other matters, including education and medical.

Not necessarily pertinent to this matter, but will maybe make a difference in advice given is that my ex is a narcissist and none of my children want to stay with him. I am currently waiting to see a family psychiatrist who is familiar with evaluations and testimony for court, in order to go back to the court and ask for 100 percent medical decision making, and additional custody.

The recent issue that is causing me to seek additional legal advice is that my ex has decided, after nearly a year on a stimulant medication, that that child is too young for meds and doesn’t need it. The prescribing doctor, who sees all of the kids, as their pediatrician, has agreed to a one week period off of the medication as a trial to see how they are doing. The doctor was not in favor of this decision, but it was the agreement they came to that was not a total stopping of meds.

This child has previously had severe behavioral problems and we recently switched schools to give them a fresh start, since the meds were working so well. The previous school has also given them an educational diagnosis of autism, which clearly fits, as well as a great number of accommodations, which are helping. The dad does not believe his son has autism or adhd.

After one day on this trial of no medication, my child is already extremely upset and angry with the other parent for making them do this. Their behavior grade for the day is normally in the mid-90’s and today it was 50, with them snapping pencils and other destructive behaviors. They have a history of self harm and had to go to a special therapeutic preschool as a 6 year old. Their work grade was also a 50 today, which is typically 100, and they did not complete a few assignments.

I have read that, in Tennessee, both of the parents, if they have equal decision making have equal rights to stop and start therapies, however priority may be given by the court to continue a drug therapy that is working. Is this true for things like ADHD meds as well? Is this something that I can file an emergency court order on? How long do I have to wait to file an emergency court order— do I have to wait until the temporary trial period is over?

I’m contemplating whether this is something I should be calling my lawyer’s office about or whether I’m letting my anxiety about how the past unmedicated periods have harmed my child, cause me to feel this is very urgent, when it may not be. Thank you to anyone who can assist with this or give me a little bit of calm clarity on what will happen or what options exist.

Edit: I emailed my lawyer two days ago regarding the matter, and don’t want to take more of their time if the email was sufficient, or should I make this a bigger priority?