Trapped In The Woods

Location: Idaho

I live in an isolated rural area in Idaho. My spouse has always refused to look for work that would fully support our family. Last year, he tried to take out a 40k loan to pay off his credit card debts… Luckily the bank declined or I’d be even worse off.

Because we have very little shared income and some significant to us debt, I thought a 50/50 no fault divorce would be a breeze. It’s not. I pushed my spouse to find work beyond bookkeeping for a family company (where he pays himself from the family trust…), he works part time at a local store, and takes seasonal farm work at times. He has a college degree and experience in a number of areas that would lend to a middle class income, but has decided he’d rather not provide for us.

This puts me in a tricky situation where I am needing out but financially almost unable, especially if I end up owing him child support while trying to squeeze extra money into savings for an apartment for myself and our daughter.

We agreed to a full financial and custodial 50/50 split, but I don’t have documentation for his income that is accurate for the income verification that we need to submit. He gets paid cash under the table for the farm work, creates his own pay stubs for the family work, and so I keep coming out as the one that will have to pay support. He’s a mess, not organized at all, so I doubt he will figure this out on his own…

Can I do this alone or is it time to play hardball? I don’t know how to afford a lawyer. I’m a teacher at the local public school, and living alone out here (in the garage on shared family owned property while we sort legals for my peace of mind, but I’m going crazy after 7 months without a proper home to mother my child in). We care for our daughter in a home owned by his mothers family trust on the property… I don’t know how to fill out the paperwork correctly to set myself free and really need to get out of this area to find work. I plan to move to the nearest city where my pay triples…

Any tangible advice on moving forward? Husband will sign and agree to almost anything, just won’t follow through on anything that takes beyond a minimal amount of effort… I can’t just use last year’s tax return info because he wasn’t working the store job and made even less. When does this amount to financial abuse? I need out, we have an agreed upon plan that gets me out, I just can’t submit our packet without an accurate financial picture from the other party…