Trying To Protect My Children From Ex In Laws

Location: Kentucky

Ex MIL has unsupervised visits with two of my kids. Her son, my ex husband is a registered sex offender who abused two of my girls and despite fighting to get them out of my younger two kids lives they were still granted visitation.
I had joined the army (2020) and upon returning after training found out MIL (before divorce) had her son (then husband, now ex) sign an emergency protective order she had written up stating I was in KY threatening harm to two of my children, which were in her care at the time. I was actually in another state in AIT at Ft Gordon, GA.
At court the judge found that her claims were false and dismissed the EPO.
Fast forward and she filed for grandparents custody/visitation and I fought with an attorney to argue that it wasn’t in my children’s best interest with the history of repeated false protective orders and her history of allowing her son around my kids despite the no contact.
She was granted visitation because her attorney kept pressuring me about my vehicle being in my grandparents driveway one weekend and at the time not being officially diagnosed with PTSD all I could think was they’re stalking me and gave an incorrect explanation due to not being able to process the situation. In reality I had done nothing wrong and having a panic attack in court with an asthma attack due to the trauma of having to be in the presence of the same woman who had assaulted me in 2017. (She got no charges because her family tampered with evidence by manipulating me to not call police immediately and get rest, shower off blood and etc) Long story short this woman scares me! She was granted to visitation and I retained an appeal attorney immediately before deadline. Because my parents had temporary custody while I was stationed in another state the attorney was hired to represent my mother and he expressed confidence that there would be no issues with my appeal given the history. Less than a week before the deadline I get a call from the attorney about the appeal with him telling me he was no longer able to proceed with the appeal due to a new law passed in KY about grandparents visitation (2021) and I kept calling to request a refund of my $3,500 due to his inability to proceed. He kept promising to send itemized bill and refund, but by the time I got it back I was unable to retain an attorney to appeal and he only refunded around $900 something if the original $3,500 for a case that never went to court for appeal.
Fast forward to 2024 on father’s day weekend my kids come back from their visitation with said grandparents and they told my grandparents that they talked to their dad on father day. My parents filed an EPO immediately due to no contact order violation and kids were spoke to by the judge where the judge found out that they had a video visit with ex husband via jail video visit with a no contact order in place.
During court the judge talked to ex in laws about the gravity of what their son was convicted of and ex in laws expressed their sons innocence to which the judge looked at them and said they better believe their son hurt my girls. The hearing ended with the judge telling ex in-laws that if they ever do this again they might lose their visitation. No guarantees, just maybe.

Now for the past year my kids have been telling me that their grandparents have been telling them my husband is not their dad and that they shouldn’t call him dad. Kids are being told that my ex is their dad and that he is not in jail, but instead in training. It seems there is no end to what they’ve tried to tell my kids and now this past week I’ve heard that they’ve been told that as babies I didn’t feed them or car for them despite them both being exclusively breast fed. I’ve heard from my kids repeatedly that they’ve been told that me and my family are bad people and it’s become apparent that my kids were also told that last time they had their visit that grandparents got in trouble and kids appear hesitant as if they’ve been warned that telling me or my family about what’s going on that we will take them away from their grandparents.
I should also add my kids do call my husband dad by choice and willingly tell him they love him, but are forced to call him by name at grandparents. They’ve expressed to me that they love my husband who is the dad they’ve bonded with for years, but that it’s hurtful being told they shouldn’t call him dad. I have major concern of parental alienation and emotional/psychological abuse, but want to handle this properly and quickly as possible as my kids have started to show behavioral issues directed towards me in a hostile manner. Most recent incidence was turning off video games and son lashing out hitting me with a pair of crutches he found. (I don’t believe in corporal punishment/spanking) So of course this conversation explaining feelings and talking about emotions trying to understand why this behavior happened is what led to finding out the new incidents at ex in law’s house. My kids are returning to my home presumably this summer and I at the very least plan to start them in therapy hoping to also document any incidents they feel open enough to share, but I’m overwhelmed and just want to protect my children’s emotional and psychological health with consideration for who they could be as adults considering my ex was a huge addict with many charges, which is another reason I felt it was within my right to want to protect them from toxic relationships.